It Had To End

I'm Sorry

(A/N) Hey Guys so this is the end of the story I hope you like it. Please comment if you like it. I'm really sorry about that last chapter i was crying while writing it. Let me know if you cried too. Thank you all for reading this story. I'm sorry but it had to end. <3

I can't believe it, Kyle is dead.

It has been one week since it happened and I still can't get over it. I don’t think I ever will. He was my best friend, my boyfriend and my brother all in one and now he’s gone. I just can't do this. I’m sorry your life was not full of happiness and love and I'm sorry it wasn’t everything you ever wanted but I tried.

I’m still not over it and I don’t think I ever will be. Every night I sleep in Kyle’s bed. I wear Kyle’s clothes around everywhere. I am constantly crying about Kyle. I had only known him for a year but it felt like I have known him my entire life.

Every day I do the same thing. Wake up in Kyle’s room, get changed into either Kyle’s clothes or Kyle’s favourite clothes of mine but today was different. Today was Kyle’s funeral. I wore my favourite black dress, black boots and Kyle’s black jumper. I met Kyle’s mother and they asked me to speak at his funeral.

I talked about how we met and our common love of books. I couldn’t say anything else because I was in tears. It was the most beautiful funeral I have ever been to and I didn’t stop crying.

When I got back to the hospital the first thing I did was go to Kyle’s room and cry. I walked around the hospital going to all of the places I went with Kyle. The library, the food hall, my room, his room, the music room. The last place I went was in that one corridor. The corridor where I fell on Kyle.

I can’t do this anymore, I can’t live without Kyle. Nothing will ever make up for it not even my best friend Anastasia. Anastasia didn’t even visit me while I was in hospital. I’m sorry Kyle but I just can’t.

I cannot put myself through this. At that moment a nurse walks past me and sees the look on my face. She runs over to me and grabs my arm. I pull back abruptly and storm off. This cannot happen.

I hear footsteps behind me so I break out into a jog. My heart starts beating faster and the pain comes back but I don’t care. I cannot go through with this any longer. I hear screaming but it’s very faint. My chest is burning but I have to keep going. My whole body is aching and then it all just stops, there is no pain.

Nothing at all. The only thing I can feel is the ice cold hospital floor under my limp body. Then I even lose that. I’m just trapped inside my thoughts. All of my memories are floating around inside my head just waiting for their turn to be seen.

I can’t even hear the sound of my heart beat. That’s if there even is one left. I’m completely unaware. Then I hear a thud and another and I think it could be my heart and then I realise it’s my thoughts.

They are banging against the inside of my mind. I’m losing them. Only one is left and it’s the memory of him. His embrace, the first time we kissed, the time we met, everything we did together and then I think about what life could have been if I didn’t have this heart condition and if Kyle didn’t have his condition.

We could have been happy. We could have had a life but it didn’t happen. I had this condition and so did he whether we liked it or not and I could not put myself through this pain. I just could not do this anymore.

It had to end.