high school sweethearts | cranksepticeye

16 - down to earth

i let out a loud laugh as the waiter cautiously set down some more drinks on our table. I smiled and thanked him before turning back to sean, somebody I thought I would never have a laugh with again; but here we are.

"trust you to break your crush's ankle!" I laughed as I grabbed my beer and took a sip. we'd had quite a few beers since it was technically a bar and restaurant. he'd had more than me, i hadn't had a lot since I had to drive afterwards. we finished eating ages ago and for the past half an hour had been drinking and telling stories. it was a lot of fun. and to think I was supposed to be spending that night with a random stranger who I would never talk to again. this was so much better than what I had in mind. I was so glad that my date didn't turn up. suddenly I didn't feel as bad about being stood up.

"yeah...i wasn't liked much after that." he chuckled before he also took a sip of his beer. I laughed, wiping my mouth with my hand, even though there were napkins right in front of me.

"i can imagine. you naughty boy." we chuckled in unison before I let out a long sigh, but not of sadness or boredom. 

"i've gotta tell you something." he mumbled. I looked over at him and smiled, instantly feeling curious.

"what is it?" I asked, suddenly feeling quite nervous. what if what he had to say wasn't necessarily a good thing?

"i lied to you...about why Evelien left." I raised an eyebrow and put my drink back down onto the table.

"you did?"

"well...kind of. we have been arguing today so she was already pissed. but she noticed that you were here and that kind of sent her over the edge." why would me being at the same restaurant as them send her over the edge? I honestly couldn't tell why that bothered her so much. but I didn't really care because now me and sean were getting some time to talk and catch up.

"damn...i'm sorry. why were you two even arguing, if you don't mind telling me?" he looked around as if to check if she was still there or not, spying on us and eavesdropping on our conversation. the smile on his face vanished and his tone became a lot more serious. the conversation became much less light hearted.

"she uh...she says I don't spend enough time with her...that I work too much. apparently I spend too much time on my computer and...she called me an arrogant bastard." my jaw dropped slightly. it made me angry that she was treating him like that. I didn't know how to respond because i was so caught up in my own frustration. after not saying anything he sighed and continued speaking.

"i guess i deserve it though. I did tell her I think i'm better than her." this time I knew what to say.

"do you think you're better than her?" he looked me up and down before biting his lip and shaking his head.

"have you tried talking to her about it?" 

"i tried apologising to her on the way here. she ignored me though. like she always does." he started to sound much more sad than he had been that entire night. I felt really bad for him. 

"she always ignores you?" I saw that his eyes were glossed over slightly, and my heart ached when i thought about the possibility of him crying. I didn't want him to cry. i'd always hated seeing him upset.

"when we argue i'm always the one who has to apologise, even if I didn't do anything wrong. I always tell her how sorry I am even though most of the time I have no idea what i'm apologising for. i always tell her how much I love her and that I don't want to be mad at her...but she just ignores it. and she drags it out. it takes ages for her to finally come around and forgive me. and most of the time, she doesn't even say sorry to me. I apologise, she ignores me, then she forgives me, and it's done, we never speak of it again." the way he was opening up to me almost made me forget that this was the first time we had spoken to each other in 8 years. but I was so grateful that he was talking to me. it showed that even after all of this time, after all that had happened, he trusted me. either that or he'd had a little too much to drink.

"that must make you feel really..." for whatever reason, I couldn't get the rest of my sentence out.

"shitty." he finished it off for me. I smiled weakly and he did the same.

"have you spoken to her about how it makes you feel?" he raised his eyebrows and shook hs head vigorously, as if what I had just suggested was a crime.

"well i think you should. maybe if you do she'll change her ways. just give her some time, because sometimes it can take a while for people to better themselves. but if you don't start to see improvement after a while, you should really think about your relationship with her. even if you love her, and you think she loves you, even if you think you would be a mess without her, you need to think about yourself. what she's doing is toxic and it's hurting you. if she can't take your feelings into account and change herself for you, then clearly she doesn't care for you much. and I know it probably hurts to hear someone say that to you, but it's just something to think about." sean was telling me about the struggles he was facing in his relationship and I was giving him as much advice as I could to help him out. this situation was a bit too familiar. he looked up from the table and smiled at me, before letting out a small chuckle.

"you still give great relationship advice. i'm guessing you've been in enough by now to know, huh." i shook my head slowly, feeling quite embarrassed.

"i've been in two relationships my entire life. and the one of them doesn't really count, since I was a kid and it only lasted about a week." for a few moments he didn't say anything or give much of a reaction. a few seconds later though he looked at me with wide eyes as it started to click in his head.

"you mean...you haven't been with anyone since..." this was the first time in that entire evening that either one of us had hinted towards our sweet but (what some would call) short relationship. I nodded slowly and he looked down at the table awkwardly, not saying another word. i remained silent until I heard the sound of a phone going off and sean muttering curses under his breath.

"everything alright?" he looked up at me with sadness in his eyes and shook his head.

"she's really pissed at me for not being back home yet. i'm gonna get it in the neck when I get back...for fuck's sake, I don't wanna deal with this tonight." I thought about it and then rolled my eyes, not at him, but at myself. as if I hadn't made enough bold moves that night, I was about to make another one. I watched him as he typed angry messages and heard him mutter as he got replies. 

"are you kidding me?! now she's threatening to kick me out! of my own house!" I saw him type a few more messages before he let out a groan and put his phone away, the frown on his face becoming very prominent.

"are you two just gonna argue when you get home?"

"that's if she fucking lets me in. she'll probably chuck a pillow and a blanket out of the window and tell me to sleep in the back garden." I couldn't tell if he was over exaggerating or being serious, but either way I felt bad and worried for him.

"do you wanna go back to her tonight?" I asked.

"not really...but I have to. I've got nowhere else to go." I took a deep breath, feeling incredibly tempted to use my inhaler because of how scared i was to ask him this. but if I wanted to get somewhere with him, I needed to do something about it.

"you can stay at my place tonight if you want." he looked shocked and when he tried to speak at first he stuttered.

"really? you're sure? but I wouldn't want to trouble-"

"it's fine, really. don't worry about it. if you don't wanna go back you don't have to. you can just stay at my place. take a break from it all." at first he didn't know what to do or say. he just kept looking around the room as if that would help him come to a conclusion. eventually he let out a sigh and nodded slowly.

"okay...thanks...i'll stay at your place."