high school sweethearts | cranksepticeye

2 - date night

i slammed the door shut behind me and fell slowly to the floor, sighing as I hit the ground. yet another unsuccessful date. the ethan nestor brand.

i checked my phone and realised how late it was. I knew I should probably get to bed if I didn't want to act like a slug the next morning. I had to be energetic and full of life so I could film a video for my dying youtube channel. although it was never quite alive to begin with.

i stood up slowly and dragged my feet across the floor to get up the stairs and into my studio/bedroom. I didn't bother closing the door behind me. I plopped onto my uncomfortable gaming chair and grabbed the mouse of the computer to wake it up. once it was up and running i observed my already open tab; my analytics. my most recent video that had been up for a day now had over 500 views. I looked at my subscriber count. it wasn't going down, but it wasn't going up either. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes so I could think.

why couldn't I have just done better in school? like many others I made the stupid mistake of worrying more about my popularity status and social life rather than my grades and my studies. i spent more time hanging out with my friends than revising for tests. I obsessed over being loved by everyone but didn't even think about doing my school work properly. if only i'd have thought more about where it would get me.

my parents were trying so hard to be supportive for me, but they were starting to put in less and less effort. i knew soon enough that they would sit me down and give me the talk in which they'd talk to me about finding an actual job. but they didn't understand that even though it wasn't really taking off, I still enjoyed my job and I loved making videos. I had to keep trying and i had to work harder if I wanted to see results. if I gave up of course I would go nowhere.

not only was my career dead, but so was my love life. I was struggling to find somebody. i'd had casual affairs and some encounters over the past few years, but I hadn't been in a serious or committed relationship. not since him. not a single guy I met really peaked my interest. they were all too boring, too sexual, too materialistic, too something. even if they were such an amazing guy, I would always find a reason to dislike them. I was considering going on a few dates with women despite me having no interest in them. anything to spice up my love life and my life in general.

i groaned and opened my eyes again before being blinded by the brightness of my computer screen. i turned it down instantly and my eyes soon adjusted. I clicked off of the analytics and onto the youtube home page. I began typing a channel into the search bar; the channel I wanted to watch more than anything in that moment.

when it came up I looked at the sub count: 3.2 million. he was doing so well and he'd only been doing it for a year. it amazed me. then again, he was an amazing person.

he had so many fans now. so many people knew him. he'd been in articles, he'd collaborated with other popular youtubers, he'd been interviewed, he'd done so much in the space of a year. he was really famous now. so much in fact that he had probably forgotten all about me. but I remembered him. how could I forget him? that man changed me, changed my life...all those years ago.