Seeing blind

IVF

Ant Pov

It's been two days since Dec and I talked about starting a family and I just can't seem to get it out of my head. It's sunday and Declan is sleeping in while I am making, us some breakfast. As I bake some scrambled eggs, I scroll through our social media. After I checked everything, I open google. 

For the 100th time in the last couple of days, I type 'IVF' in. A bunch of information appears on my screen. I scroll through all the articles, knowing I already read it all. It bothers me that we haven't talked about it since friday, but I know Declan is very stressed with the shows going on. 

I snap back to reality when a burning smell fills my nose. 'Fuck fuck fuck' I curse while trying to stop the flames coming from the pan with eggs. I manage to stop the fire, but smoke fills the whole living room. Soon, the fire alarm starts beeping loudly. I grab a chair and set it right under our alarm. 

'Anth? Where are you? The fire alarm is going off.' I hear Dec's panicked voice fill the room. 

'Calm down love, I just burnt the eggs. Stay where you are, the kitchen is a mess. I will put the alarm out first.' I shout to him over the beeping of the alarm. I stand upon the chair and press the thing out. I let out a relieved sigh when the room goes quite again. 

I get off the chair and walk towards Dec. 'Sorry I woke you up with all of this,' I say while pressing a kiss on his forehead. 'Doesn't matter, I'm hungry anyway.' He smiles his cute smile at me and I can't help but imagine seeing little humans with that smile. 

'You are thinking about something Ant, what's up?' He follows me to the kitchen and sits down on the counter. I get some new eggs and put them in a pan. 

'It's nothing Decky, don't worry.' I say while making some toast. 

'Ant, weren't you the one who told me two days ago to talk about what bothered me.' I smile at him, and let my fingers roam over his cheek. It's something we do since the accident. I touch his cheeks to let him know I'm happy and smiling. He smiles and looks directly into my eyes. I know he can't see me, but his blue ocean eyes still take my breath away. 

'You are right love' I sigh and stand between his legs. He wraps his legs around my waist and puts his hands beside my head. 

'So?'  He asks while pressing a sweet kiss on my lips. 

'Well, I just thought about friday a lot. You know, about starting a family and stuff.' His smile fades and his eyes narrow. 

'Are you having second thoughts?' He asks, a bit disappointed. 

'Oh no, no. The opposite, actually. I can't stop thinking about it. In a good way of course.' He lets out a relieved sigh. 

'I really want this Declan, and I kind of want it now. I didn't know I wanted it this bad until you started about it.' 

'Well, then we should make some appointments. To get this thing started.' He says happily with a big grin on his face. 

'Well we have some decisions to make Dec. We can adopt you know. But there is another option. We can go for IVF.' 

'Isn't that with a surrogate mother? One of us will give our sperm and she will carry our baby, right?' He says while frowning in thought. 

'Yes, yes you're right. I-I uhm did some research already. It's very expensive, but well we can easily afford it. And it would be our own kid, biologically.' 

'Yeah, it would be amazing Ant. But don't you think it's weird to imagine that another woman is carrying our child?' I think about his words before speaking up.