In My Life (John Lennon fanfic)

Chapter 52.

"Holy shit it smells awful." He laughed.

"I know! Our first morning and already it smells like destruction." I sighed.

"Oh come on love. It's not all that bad. Come 'ere Max."

I grabbed the clean toast out of the toaster and set it on a plate. I couldn't help but to smile at the sight of John making silly faces as Max laughed.

I made breakfast for everyone and made sure everything was perfect. By the time I got to finally sit down and have my food, Julian was leaving for his room and Max was off to watch tv. I pouted and grabbed a fork. John chuckled and patted his lap for me to sit on. He wrapped his arms around my waist as I ate.

"So I was thinkin..." he started. I stabbed a potato with my fork and fed it to him. He ate it and began again. "It's already goin to be the start of December tomorrow. Christmas time. Presents. Decorating....."

I knew what he was getting at. I set my fork down. "John I...I dont know."

"Come on love. Just try. The boys would love it. I could bring Sean. Maxwell can have his first real Christmas. He deserves it. We can be all together. Like a family again."

I stayed silent and thought about it for a few seconds. Max has never celebrated Christmas before. He is at the age where kids his age are excited more than ever for Christmas time. I want that for my Max. A part of me thought about James. About Andrew. James would have wanted his baby brother to be happy. Andrew would have wanted his son to have lots of gifts and be filled with love on that special day.

I looked at John. A waiting look on his face as he watched me. I nodded.

"Okay. We can do this. I can do this." I looked down.

"It'll be great love. I promise. It'll be perfect. You trust me don't you?"

I gave him a small smile. "I do."

He leaned up and pecked my lips. I smiled and finished eating. I stood up and set my plate in the sink.

"Julian the dishes!"

"Fine!" He yelled back. John stood up and nudged my chin up to look at him.

"Hey. Don't feel guilty for moving on. We all have to at one point. Even if it hurts."

"I know John. I love you so much. I'm grateful you're here with me now."

He smiled and hugged me. "It'll be a beautiful Christmas. I promise."

...

John had to go back to Yoko's to pick up Sean as me, Julian and Maxwell went out to buy a new toaster, and a few things.

"Does this smell nice?" I asked, holding a vanilla cinnamon candle up to Jules's nose. He made a face and pulled away.

"It smells like perfume."

I rolled my eyes. "I like it. Therefore, I shall buy it." I smiled, putting four of them in the basket. Julian was too busy reading a comic book to care. Maxwell sitting in the cart, munching on a cookie he got from the bakery. I yawned and looked at the time.

3:15 pm

"We should start buying some decorations." I said after I paid and we were on our way out of the shop. Julian looked at me.

"Why?"

"Because you know...Christmas."

"You mean....really??" He asked excitedly. I smiled.

"Yes. Your father made me realise that...I can't keep hiding from reality. Andrew and James will always be in my heart. Maxwell deserves to celebrate Christmas. To be a normal child."