alexithymia
subclinical phenomenon involving a lack of emotional awareness or, more specifically, difficulty in identifying and describing feelings and in distinguishing feelings from the bodily sensations of emotional arousal
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"𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨...
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"can't you find her through starships tracker?!" chenle exclaimed desperately, sitting beside ten who was hopelessly typing in codes in attempt to find hyejin.
"she decoded it already!" ten groaned
"can you find it through her phone? you do stuff like this all the time" chenle was beginning to get extremely anxious. he's been pacing around the room all day, refusing all meals brought to him. he's also been avoiding taeyongs many orders and dismissing him whenever he tired to talk to chenle. chenle was beyond furious at what taeyong did, so he and ten were going behind his back to find the girl.
"she has a burner phone!" he slammed his keyboard, unable to find anything to link to hyejin's whereabouts.
"have you guys found winwin yet?" kun asked, a plate of food in hand.
"it's difficult trying to find two people at once ok!?" ten was getting so frustrated with everything, he's been needing to do yoga to calm himself down. it's been two days since winwin and hyejin's disappearance, and no one could figure out where they went
"winwin is not important right now" chenle slammed his palm against the chair seat, shooting up to face kun "who we need to find his hyejin, joo hyejin!"
"winwin is part of NCT, they are both important chenle" kun sighed. he understands why chenle was frustrated, i mean, his girlfriend just went missing though kun isn't able to dismiss the fact that his best friend also disappeared.
chenle huffed, shoving kun aside and storming into the room. not even a second after he had entered, he grabbed the nearest object and tossed it to the ground, an exasperated yell reverting off the walls followed by glass and porcelain smashing against the ground. swiping all the papers off his tables, he wouldn't stop till he has destroyed everything to ease his pain.
she was the reason he had loss his alexithymia, and now she was the reason for his excess express of emotions
he was throwing, destroying, ruining anything in sight and he couldnt stop himself. he grabbed his alexithymia notebook, catapulting that against the wall. his breaths became heavy with burden, unable to control his every reaction. his eyes dropped down to the notebook, the page flipped to one that explained love
hyejin has explained that word to him, and stuck with chenle ever since. kneeling down, he took the book in his hand, his heart thumping in such an angelically painful way. each word written on the page held a special meaning to him, woven in to build this fundamental belief.
