alexithymia
subclinical phenomenon involving a lack of emotional awareness or, more specifically, difficulty in identifying and describing feelings and in distinguishing feelings from the bodily sensations of emotional arousal
. . .
"𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨...
"i tell you the truth but you turn them into lies"
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. . .
"i have an idea" hyejin told chenle as he had his arms crossed, leant against a wall
"since you refuse to read books and now that i understand you can't convey emotions but can feel them, i have an amazing idea" she clapped her hands together and dragged him off the wall
"is this is something like smiling for a whole day" he grunted, sitting down on a chair
"no but good idea, we'll try it soon" she beamed, patting him on the shoulder
"your not serious" he was actually getting concerned that she might actually try it
"i can be" she dragged a chair towards him and sat opposite chenle
"i cant believe you"
"dont then" she kept that smile on her face "now, since you learnt negative emotions before i came in...let's test those first. i'm going to try and make you convey emotions, really express them. let's see..." she flipped his notebook open to the first page, the first word he learnt
01 june 2011
"wow this was...quite some time ago. you were 10?" she traced her finger over the messy handwriting scrawled on the sheets of paper. he nodded
"first word was anger, hm, that ones easy" hyejin rid of all her negative thoughts, closing the notebook and gently placing it back onto his desk
"what's the worse thing that's ever happened to you?" she needed some context on his past life to make this work
"getting diagnosed with alexithymia" his eyes was still unfazed, his face unmoving
"best thing?"
he remained silent, his eyes flickering downwards
meeting you
"it's alright, you don't need to answer. how did you get diagnosed?"
there was a pause before chenle replied "i killed someone"
"oh" she really didn't know how to feel about this
"i killed someone at the age of 10, which was when i started learning these emotions with my mum. i was a murderer at such a young age because i wanted to protect my mum." his eyes flashed with something
