𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ❪ 𝘣𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘦 ❫

11

I turn over on the side of my bed, staring at the wall overrun with photographs from my past. I shut my eyes again, but I still can't fall asleep. 

My alarm clocks reads 4:35 am. I must have fallen asleep at one point, only to have woken up now, in the early hours of the morning. 

My stomach howls in waves, like it is slowly digesting itself, unable to find any other source of food. The only thing I allow down my mouth is herbal tea, or water. It snarls again, this time a pang of pain along with it. The pain comes in sudden bursts every now and then, reminding me of the absence of food from my system.

It's all for a good purpose.

Only for a few more days.

I get up from my bed, rubbing my eyes, standing in front of my mirror. I lift up my t-shirt, and turning to my side, still managing to notice the prominent layer of fat. 

Maybe not for a few more days. 

Maybe a week. 

One more week. 

I pull my t-shirt down again, hiding away the band of fat. I guess I'm not really overweight. I'm sort of in the middle. 

Thin legs, even thinner arms, but all my weight seems to build on my lower stomach. I don't understand how others don't notice. During school, I did have issues with my image, and how I looked, but whenever I confided in Kori, she always insisted that she thought I had the perfect and slim figure. 

I was told by Kori a few years ago when we were about sixteen that maybe I was being too hard on myself, that I was making my imperfections overly exaggerated, much bigger and plumper than they actually were. 

I take this as a possibility. I rub my eyes, over and over, but the chubbiness is still visible. 

I can't be imagining it.

This is a part of me. 

And I need to find a way to get rid of it. 

I look back at my alarm, seeing the time has just gone 5:00 am. I switch on my lamp, illuminating my desk. My timetable for this month: September, sits on top of my book, where I left it yesterday. My first class begins at 11 am today. 

I decide that sleep isn't an option, so I get ready. As I'm looking for an outfit, my eyes look downward spotting a sports outfit. 

I've never been overly sporty, but I was in the badminton team at school and would occasionally run in athletics, usually running long-distance. 

Maybe it's time to bring exercise into this too. 

I wonder why that band of fat has always been there, even when I was in a badminton match almost every week, and running in a competition every month. Exercise wasn't enough.