golden | taekook

nineteen.

while the older male focused on cutting fruits and making biscuits, jungkook felt for the familiar box of sausages in the freezer. he broke open the cardboard and stood in front of the oven. the heat from the burner was evident on his knuckles as he tried to open the box. jungkook was successful, tearing the box and pouring out the mini sausages into the pan.

it was on the easier things he could help making. all jungkook had to do was move them around he pan until they were hot enough when he poked them with his finger.

one time he volunteered to cut the fruit, and that's not happening anymore when they spent breakfast in the hospital waiting room.

it was a simple breakfast, but the two boys were eager to set up their plates and sit on the couch once it was ready. jungkook pulled his legs up and say criss-cross, "thanks hyung." he said quickly before shoving a chunk of pineapple into his mouth.

"thanks for your help as well." namjoon smiled. he too started to eat, but there was still that curious glance casted over to his younger roommate. sometimes namjoon wished he could just read the boys mind, figure out what's going on behind those pretty eyes.

today wasn't the day though, and it wasn't his job anymore. there were other people that helped the boy with those things, figuring out what he was thinking and why he didn't share those thoughts. namjoon knows he doesn't. he knows jungkook doesn't lie to him, but that doesn't mean he doesn't keep things to himself.

one day he'd ask, one day.

maybe not. maybe this was new. maybe jungkook was finally no longer going to push away everyone trying to help him. maybe he'd listen to ms. jung when she came today and he'd do his lessons without such a struggle and he'd no longer encourage these fantasies he has. maybe.

it was a struggle, thinking about what he wanted for the boy. namjoon didn't know what to do anymore, he just wanted the boy happy. "let me clean up." he said, taking both dishes and walking to the kitchen to clean up the small mess from breakfast.

both their stomachs were full and content, little smiles that followed and stay for a while. it was even off that the ravenette wasn't pouring when ms. jung knocked and welcomed herself in — or when she asked if he practiced his lessons and he even nodded.

jungkook opened his backpack and took out his notebooks and lesson worksheets.

namjoon shouldn't be complaining. this is what he's wanted, for the boy to just learn and listen and be prepared for when he might be on his own later on. he shouldn't be wondering what's wrong with this picture.

"you've definitely been practicing." ms. jung said, and namjoon didn't miss the curious glance she tossed his way. the older just shrugged and ate another piece of fruit.

jungkook nodded and set the sheets down. "since i know those don't i get new ones to practice?" he asked.

ms. jung paused and tried to collect her thought, "uh yes, i brought some with me for whenever you felt ready for more." she dug through her own bag set on the couch beside her legs. this had namjoon walking over, he of course knowing a bit more of the curriculum that was to come as they progressed. for a while jungkooks been stuck in a spot, but it seemed like that may be over now.

"what comes next, ms.jung." namjoon had asked as he sat in an armchair across from the two on the couch. jungkook bit on the inside of his lip and just decided to mess with his own hands as they sat and talked about him.

"well he's been doing well with the vocabulary and the alphabet and can clearly recite them despite the order presented." she said. namjoon was nodding along as the woman spoke, listing off requirements and essentials that jungkook would need to learn and go through. part of that was the educational aspect, like learning to read again, but the following factors would be more independent based. this was the part jungkook didn't like, the stuff that made his stomach turn.

it was learning how to do everything on his own. of course he knew basic things, like making toast and taking a shower. it was the big things he knew he feared — like crossing roads and knowing when to go and listening for the traffic. it was going out on his own knowing where we was and learning how to not let his anxiety win.

it's almost like it was winning now. the way it crept up his throat and grasped his tongue, keeping jungkook from crying for help. the boy just sat and listened, the two voices soon drowning out to remain muffled syllables to quiet to hear over the beating of his own heart.

and then there was velvet — and there was a hand, seemingly reaching through that fog and grabbing jungkooks by the heart to pull him from his own thoughts.

he didn't even realize namjoon had excused himself, a knock on the door pulling him away to answer and welcome the man inside.
jungkook realized none of this, sitting their in a silent state of panic. until that voice made of velvet had said his name so smoothly.

"hey kook." taehyung had said, standing by the door to take off his shoes after greeting the rest of the people inside the small apartment.

it was like a light. the way he could show up whenever jungkook needed him, illuminating the room and making everything seem brighter despite the darkness the boy always found himself in. jungkook smiled, and he felt a little better knowing someone was there for him.
"hi tae."

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