Heart of A Woman

part 7

It feels like i finally can breathe after drowning for a long time and makes me so happy without Ian. At the same time though i still feel worried about Ian, and that makes me wonder what actually i felt towards him at that moment of my life? Maybe i still in love with him? Who knows maybe i am a masochist at heart. He actually tried to contact me after 1 - 2 weeks he was there and really excited in telling me everything about it which im not really interested. Near 1 month of staying at Philipines i notice that his fb messenger is still online on my laptop and i read Ian pent up feelings and lust towards Aira of how he actually tell her that he wants to fuck her after just landing at Philipines and maybe she needs to do breast augmentation due to lack there of. I feels really angry and chastised both of them for being like animals, fucking around without cared for the halal relationship and that angered Ian. He told me to wait for my punishment when he came back from Philipines.

I still recalled vividly what happens to me at that time, when he came home. I was at my quarters, and its around 7 am, he come and knock loudly on my door. I opened the door and he hit and kick me on my back and threatened me using a samurai sword. Its been on going until a few hours and he fell asleep. I go to my workplace and my colleagues actually worried sick of what happens to me and few of them actually cried, i never feel ashamed of my life before until that day. I applied for leave and i go back to my quarters. My cousin who is working at the same area came and we had a long talk, three of us.

I come home with Ian to my moms house and he stay there for a few days until my cousin started a fight with him and he move to the city where he lives with his brother and family. I was actually a bit relieved to hear that he is not staying at the house anymore and few weeks after that he tries to contact me. I met him again months after that incident when i was attending a course at the same city he stays. He force me to meet him which i feel reluctant at the same time and i do miss him. So i met him and his brother's family and from the look of thing he actually free from taking amphetamine and that is the start in which i go back and forth from the city and my hometown with my som every weekend. I truly thought that things has changed for good and it has actually. He apologize to me and we actually thinking of building our family together and of course with Aira and her children on tow. 2 months into the routine of living like that i found that Aira is actually pregnant with their second child and i really hopes its a baby girl and he knows what it feels to not able to give away his daughter when she get married one day.