Cigarettes and Alcohol

Breakfast

It's the first of April 1994. Kurt hasn't bought his gun, which, from what I can remember, he was supposed to do yesterday. Dave actually ended up hanging about, and took Kurt to buy some Doors records per my request while I stayed at home with Frances. Kurt seems to be okay, and since the divorce is proceeding Dave and I are supporting him as best we can. When Krist visited yesterday we played some board games and had a few drinks as a group.

I feel at home with these guys.

I always used to daydream about going back in time and meeting Nirvana, (and I'm not going to deny it, I've had some less savoury fantasies about a certain singer) but I never in a million years thought it would happen, and never thought it would be be this amazing. People don't tend to fantasise about the domestic life of their favourite celebrity crushes, and experiencing it makes me regret that.

I've become so fond of the little things, the little habits Kurt has. The way that Kurt makes his tea, the way he so gently kisses Frances' head whenever he's holding her, his nervous tick of tucking his hair behind his ear. Even his fucking snort when I make him laugh. He's so much more than I could have ever dreamed of.

I've only been here for fifteen days but it feels like I belong here, like I've been here my whole life.

When the others went to bed in the spare rooms last night, Kurt and I stayed up a little longer, talking on the sofa. Neither of us have addressed what happened in London, and I feel like neither of us really need to. We both feel these feelings, and we both seem to be on the same page about it. When Kurt holds my hand he tends fiddle with the ring on it, his silent way of acknowledging it.

We fell asleep beside each other on the sofa, my head resting on his shoulder, his blond hair tickling my face.

Today, instead of being woken up by Frances, (my room is directly beside hers) I was woken up by the morning sun shining on my face through the blinds and a soft kiss on my forehead. There was some bustling coming from the kitchen. I looked up at Kurt and he smiled so softly at me when I met his eyes my heart nearly melted. I smiled back.

"The others are up, let's get some breakfast." Kurt told me gently. I nodded and stretched my arms while sitting up, yawning slightly.

"Good morning." I said sleepily.

He was up now, and held a hand out to pull me up. I took it graciously and we wandered into the kitchen. Dave was wearing an apron with a scantily clad woman on it and was cooking some eggs when he spotted us coming in.

"Just boiled the kettle for you guys." He called over the sound of the sizzling eggs and overhead fan.

I sat down at the table, turning my chair to face them as Kurt made two mugs of tea. We take turns to decide who makes the tea on what day now to make it fair. He set my mug down beside me and took a sip of my own.

"You're gonna get me addicted to tea y'know. I think I've had more tea since you arrived than I have in the last year."

"Good, my Englishness is rubbing off on you." I laughed.

Krist then appeared through the doorway.

"Morning."

"Morning." We all replied.

Kurt jogged upstairs to get Frances for her breakfast while we made normal morning small talk. By the time he reappeared she was babbling happily and we were all sat down and munching on our eggs and toast. He plopped her in her high chair and gave her a bowl of baby food and she was soon happily gobbling away so he sat down beside be to eat.

"Have any cool dreams you guys?" He asked between mouthfuls.

"I actually had a really bad nightmare last night. You uh, you and Effy died." We all paused when Dave said that. My body went cold.

"Woah, how'd we die?" Kurt asked. I felt like I was about to have a heart attack but nobody seemed to notice.

"You were murdered in a grizzly shooting.  I saw it on the news, and I couldn't move in the dream, I couldn't do anything but watch. It was horrible."

I started to shake at this point. What if fate decided to kill us both instead? What if this was a premonition?

My body went into panic mode and I could barely breathe.

Christ.

"You alright Eff? It was only a dream." Dave asked, blissfully unaware of the possible future.

"Yeah." I whispered.

Kurt seemed to notice my astronomical fear and panic, and squeezed my hand which brought me back to reality.

"I'm fine, yeah." I repeated, brushing my hair out of my face.

Everyone went back to normal, munching away on their breakfast. Dave's words, however, were echoing in my head.

I can't let him die. I won't. He won't die while I'm around, I refuse to let it happen.

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I'm back, babyyy!!!!! Sorry for the mega slow updates but I broke my arm so I'll be in the house more and able to write more :)) Hope you're all enjoying the story, we starting to get intense 👀