lonely heart // c.h.

16. 'a miracle from god, that.'

for once, i wake up warm in the morning. i'm confused for a few seconds until i feel the weight on my chest. i look down to see kenzie, my kenzie, fast asleep with a small smile on her face. she looks absolutely breathtaking, despite having yesterday's makeup smeared under her eyes. her hair falls in wisps in front of her face, and i fight the urge to push them behind her ear in fear of waking her up. her eyelashes sit dark and curled as her eyes begin to flutter, probably dreaming. her soft pink lips curve into a small smile as she adjusts herself, leaning farther into my side.

 she has on that stupidly sexy white tank top again, and silky pajama shorts that feel nice against my legs. she has on those damned fuzzy socks that are peeking out from under the covers. she has a gold chain on, it reads the cursive words cody on it, with a heart tied to the end of the y. she's so strong. i could never imagine having to go through the grief of losing a brother as well as my parents at the same time. what kind of bastard dick ass hoes for parents does she have anyways? who would throw out their daughter for supporting their son when they wouldn't? and then all of the hate from the pictures with luke, and the abuse from kelsie. my girl has been through so much, but she's made it out. her eyes open up after i lean to kiss her forehead and she grins. 

i think one of the best feelings in the world is finally being able to kiss someone you couldn't.

she shies away when i try for more than just a peck, and i pout.

"morning breath silly goose." she giggles. i laugh and kiss her deeply anyways.

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with me breaking up with kelsie, the management was not happy, but with the news of me and kenzie, they decided that that was close enough and they'd let me off with a warning.

a miracle from god, that.

however, kelsie had different ideas in mind.

"you WHORE! i can't believe you stole my boyfriend! you know, karma's gonna catch up with you one day, and you're gonna end up just like conner or colton or whatever the fuck his name was! calum was mine! i had it all planned out! it was perfect! but you're not good enough for him! and you never will be! i hate you! i-"

"really kelsie, i don't give a fuck about what you think, just leave already, your voice is annoying. oh, and calum was fucking me before you were even in the picture, by the way. i'm sure i'm just about good enough for him if i do say so myself."  god, i love that girl.

"i second that!" i grin, and lean forward to wrap my arms around kenzie, who's smiling up at me.

"ugh!" kelsie yelled, before grabbing all of her stuff and leaving for good,

thank the lord.

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kenzie's gonna spend most of the day editing pictures and making tour posters, unfortunately. but, i suppose that means i have a lot of time to think, or should i say overthink. literally the whole day.

ash asked if we were official this morning, and when i said no, he made a surprised face before covering it up with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"oh, well i'm sure she'll come around eventually."

thus starting the ever familiar downwards spiral of overthinking.

does kenzie even want to be with me like that? it's one thing to do what we did last night, making out and falling asleep together, we've been doing the latter ever since i made up for the coffee incident. but what if she didn't want anything other than that? she did say she didn't want to have sex, so does that mean she doesn't want a relationship either? doesn't a relationship involve sex? well, i guess it doesn't have to, but with the way i think about kenzie half the time, being abstinent might prove to be a bit hard, no pun intended. (a/n pun very much intended).