sunlight, loud noises, and a hangover do not mix well. my alarm blares in my ear, but when i look over at it, it says it's 11:00. which means i'm going to be late to soundcheck. again.
i get up, groaning as my head throbs, and get in the shower. the water is freezing and won't warm up, which only adds to my frustration at this shitty start to my day. i get dressed and walk down to the lobby and out of the doors, our limo already gone with the rest of my band and probably mr clark if he showed up. so, i call a cab and make my way to the arena.
when i get there, i get the same looks from the boys as i got last night. pity. disappointment. same old same old. clark is here. he looks angry. i'm an hour late.
" hood, why are you always late? are you just a lazy bum? do you not care about this band anymore? the band you dropped everything for? you're a disgrace. get your ass up on that stage, slap a smile on that face, and pretend you are actually good enough to be here." pretend, he says. pretend.
there is a line of people leading to backstage. probably the photographers looking for a chance to go on tour with us. deluca is on vacation, spending time with his family, so we need an interim tour photographer for the time being. those people must be the interviewees. just another new person to pity me. or try and fix me. i'm unfixable.
being on the stage with the boys is even worse than being on the ground and looking up at them.
"you need to stop drinking mate." luke.
"you need to get help, mate." michael.
"we're always here for you, just talk to us mate." ashton.
"i'm fine guys, the drinking isn't a problem, i don't need help, and i know i can talk to you guys, i just have nothing to say." i have plenty to say. not like it will do any good to say it, though.
it's back to the pitiful silence now.
soundcheck sucked. i don't want to be here. so i'm leaving. and going straight to the bar, ignoring everyone yelling at me to come back.
YOU ARE READING
lonely heart // c.h.
Fanfiction"And who would've thought that the cure to my loneliness would be the loneliest of them all." or a boy and a girl fall into the beautiful mess called love. lowercase intended.
