The Outcast

19- Bitter

[ yeah, that will never, ever, ever happen to me. I wish someone would think that about me though... ]

I TUG THE sleeves of my school jumper down lower as I walk towards my bus stop.

It's mildly hot out but still bearable to wear a jumper. More bearable than trying to explain a ring of dark bruises on my forearm.

I sigh as I step onto the bus, receiving a few weird looks from a few annoying seventh graders.

But mostly, people are staring out the window, most likely chanting in their heads 'don't sit next to me, don't sit next to me'.

But that's okay, because on the rare occasions where I actually get a seat, I do that too every time someone walks past me.

I internally sigh in relief as I spot an empty seat in the middle. I sit down and take out my phone, unwrapping earphones and then play I'm A Mess.

I tug my sleeves down again and let the music fill my head until I feel one get tugged out.

I turn to see Luke there, looking at me expectantly. I raise an eyebrow at him.

"What?" I ask

"Can you move your bag'" he asks

"Um..." I tease, pretending to think

He picks it up off the seat and dumps it in the walkway next to his before flopping down.

"So, why are you wearing a jumper? It's hot!" he asks quietly

"Er, I'm cold." I say

"You don't uh, cut do you?" he asks nervously, a concerned expression present on his face

"No!" I say, "god no."

"Sorry. I was just checking." he says

"S'okay." I shrug, putting my earphone back in to find the song has changed.

'Take me away. Dry my eyes, bring colour to my skies my sweet little pill, take my hunger, lie within, numb my skin.'

(^AN idk if these are 100% correct, they're just off memory)

When we arrive at school I by pass my locker, collecting my books for the day and shoving them in my school bag before walking towards where I sit with my group in the morning.

"Yeah I had fun!" Carter says from the other side of the wall

I know I shouldn't eavesdrop but I actually can't help it.

"Yeah we should do it again sometime soon." Kirsty agrees, "maybe with Tia next time too!"

My heart tightens in my chest and my eyes gloss over with tears.

I shouldn't feel like this, but it's been months since anyone has wanted to hang out with me after school.

No matter what I do, where I go, I guess there is always someone else that someone will prefer over me.

And it hurts.

A lot.

I walk around the corner and the two girls smile at me.

"Hey Cass!" Carter smiles

"Hey I have your album Carter." I say, digging it out of my bag and handing it to her, "thanks for lending it."

"It's okay. Did you listen to it yet?" she asks, zipping it into her bag's front pocket

"Yes! I liked Bloodstream too, and I'm A Mess." I say excitedly