Trying Not To Love (COMPLETED)

Chapter 23 ✅

I didn't take my bra off but only pulled the straps down. Then I wore his blueish-grey button down t-shirt.

Walking back in the room, I watched him put the medical kit on the bed.

I didn't know what to do! Stand? Sit?

He glanced back and his eyes hugged my body like a warm blanket. Good, because I was getting cold anyway.

I liked the way he stared at me, examined me. Slow and careful as if memorizing me.

I stepped forward and asked, "Where do you want me?" It took me a second to realize what I just said.

Shit!

I placed a hand on my now tomato face and muttered, "Get your head out of the gutter! You know what I meant."

He laughed, his voice sounded hoarse and deep even when he's laughing. 

I peeked at him from the gap I made between my fingers.

He was close. So close. He grabbed my hand and took me to bed.

Damn! It did sound sexy.

His shirt was loose. Too large for me, and it hung on me like cloth on a hanger.

He sat on the bed, criss crossed and pulled me with him.

My back to him, I pulled my legs underneath me so I could be a little taller.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I unbuttoned first two of the buttons while his fingers grazed my neck and he guided all my hair over my left shoulder.

Trembles ran down my spine and my stomach somersaulted.

If he said anything I wouldn't be able to hear because my freaking heart was having an attack.

His fingers held the side of the collars and pulled down. The shirt skidded back, falling off my shoulder and probably giving him more than necessary access he needed.

I heard him suck in a breath and his front felt so close to mine, even though I knew there was some distance.

His finger ran along the outskirts of the bruise. "Fucking bastard! I should have killed him." And my skin went on fire. Goosebumps erupted all over me and I couldn't breathe.

Iciness of the medicine hit me, making me suck in some much needed air for my poor scorching lungs. I felt his touch everywhere in me all at once. Bringing alive the kind of desire I didn't even know I had in me. I clutched my hands in anticipation and shifted in my position.

When he blew on the bruise, I arched my back, biting my lip from moaning out loud.

I was absolutely going to die now. My breathing became uneven and his hand touched the other side, brushing along my skin.

The front buttons of the shirt were tugging at my throat and felt like they were choking me. But, it wasn't their fault.

He slipped his hand up and up resting on the curve of my shoulder. I squeezed my legs together, heat pooling in me.

His lips touched just above where it was hurting and then slowly trailed up, his other hand exploring my back.

"Easton..." I moaned, balling my hand, digging my nails into my palms.

"Fuck!" He growled and trailed feather like kisses all the way up to my neck.

In that moment I only needed him like I needed air to breath for my starving lungs.

His arm came around my stomach, pulling me against him when he kissed my bare shoulder with the most beautiful sensations I had never thought existed outside those books and movies. When his tongue touched my skin, I whimpered from the heat pooling in my core, and with the ache increasing between my thighs.

I arched my back, leaning into him and resting my head against his shoulder, giving him the access to more of me.

A beautiful heart-warming noise left his throat and he brushed his lips along my collar bone...

"Easton. . ." I moaned again, out loud when he nibbled at my skin.

I wanted him and I wanted all of him.

Pushing forward, I turned around my legs still underneath me and linked my arms around his neck when he kissed my jawline slowly making his way to my lips.

My eyes had been shut the whole time but, I wanted to memorize him in this moment. Opening my eyes I was surprised to see him staring at me. His eyes dark with desire and I could tell he saw the same thing in mine.

I leaned in, and then our lips were only an inch away from each other. We were breathing the same air and it felt magical.

He tilted his head but instead of his lips meeting mine, they glided to my ear.

And I already felt the knives stabbing in my chest before he said the two words which dumped the reality on my shoulder like the weight of freaking mountains. And it hurt like hell. "I can't..." His breathing was as heavy as mine.

I shut my eyes and tears streamed down my cheeks.

But, before he could see that, I wiped my eyes and my cheeks and righted his shirt on me.

His arms were still wrapped around me as if he was having a war with himself to let me go or not. He probably was.

What the fuck was I thinking?

I wanted to kick myself until I would bleed out and die!

Shame engulfed me like tight rope around my neck and I jerked away, surprising him.

I stumbled off the bed and grabbed my t-shirt before running out the door and barging into my room.

Slamming my door shut, I crawled to the floor and let the tears fall like newly discovered waterfall.