𝐬.𝐩. 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

hold my heart, but please don't hurt me.

wilhemina venable (my best baby girl<333)

> yes, i know the title is shit. i couldn't think of anything else.

request: Could you do one with Venable and reader where R has EDNOS? Thank you! 😁

warnings: talk of self harm (in the past), body insecurity, and ednos.

note: venable is probably ooc and for that i'm sorry but i wanted to her be kinda soft here so whatever!!!!! also i was a lazy piece of shit and didnt wanna proofread. any mistakes are quite, very, embarrassingly all mine.

+ i've only ever struggled with anorexia b/p subtype but i've met plenty of people in treatment with ednos, so i hope this is okay!!!

• • •

both of you knew each other's insecurities, and you're well beyond seeing them. venable knew all about the faint white lines that littered your body. you knew about her scoliosis and how much emotional pain it brought her - despite how hard she tried to hide it from you.

neither of you really brought it up much, not unless it was causing either of you great distress.

however, today was different. feeling a bit more carefree, you decided to wear a short pair of shorts and a loose t-shirt. you sat on the couch, leaning over the coffee table to use your laptop. this action caused your shorts to ride up your legs a little higher than usually.

normally you'd shy away and put a blanket over your legs, but mina reassured you that there would never be any judgement. after learning what you'd kept hidden for so long, she always wanted you to feel comfortable around her.

but as mina peered over your shoulder, she saw something on your leg that that she'd never noticed before.

on the higher part of your thigh the three letter word "fat" was carved into your skin. mina almost immediately frowned.

"little one? how long have you been up?" she questioned. you jumped, startled by her voice. the tapping of her cane usually would've alerted you of her presence. "just a few hours. you okay?" she hummed as she moved to sit by you.

she watched you diligently as you typed away. from what it looked like, it seemed to be another essay for one of your classes.

mina couldn't help her eyes from drifting back to the word that marked your skin. she couldn't recall a single time you ever mentioned feeling that way about your body.

and then the urge to ask you about it spilled from her lips.

"i've never seen that before." you turned to face her. "seen what?"

"your thigh. i never noticed the word you carved."

you visibly tensed. there was a reason you hadn't brought that part of your past up. because honestly it still affected you, and you didn't want mina to know just yet.

"do you still feel that way about yourself?" mina hoped you didn't, but something about the way your face fell already gave her the answer she needed.

with an exhale of breath, you shut your laptop and leaned closer into the redhead - careful not to be the cause of any slight wincing or cheek biting.

wilhemina didn't give a damn about her back in this moment. her worry only spiked the longer you went without talking.

"i never told you because i still struggle with it. i didn't want you to think of me as any different, and i've never heard your views on stuff like eating disorders." her heart broke.

"little one?"

"hmm?"

"would you mind talking to me about it? right now?"

you smiled. although there was a growing circle of anxiety swirling around in your mind.

"will you let me lay my head on your lap?" wilhemina playfully narrowed her eyes at you, "just this once," she replied, but you knew she didn't mean it.

mina's slender fingers found their way to the depths of your hair. she twirled a few strands, sometimes going through and lightly scraping her nails against your scalp as she finger brushed your hair.

before you adjusted yourself fully comfortable, you looked to see if mina was still in arms reach of her cane. and she was.

but finding the right words was hard. you felt bad for making her wait so long, especially given the way she found out. the redhead fully understood though, remembering how hard it was for her to tell you about her scoliosis.

"there are days where i won't eat, and other days i cant stop eating. sometimes i purge, but not always. i just know its not frequent enough to classify me as bulimic."

you shifted slowly in her lap.

"i've struggled with this illness since i was a teenager. and since i never met enough of the criteria for either anorexia or bulimia, doctor's diagnosed me with ednos - eating disorder not otherwise specified." you mumbled the last five words, somehow hoping she wouldn't hear.

wilhemina's actions stopped as she took in the information.

"i was 15 when i carved the word 'fat' on my thigh. i hated the way i looked - i still do. and i don't think people get that i only hate my body, no one else's. so when people would come back with a remark like 'well if you're fat then what am i?' it would make me feel worse about even talking about it. not to mention the fact that most people don't take it seriously because i'm not stick thin."

you felt your girlfriend carefully lean down after moving some of the hair out from your face. she kissed your temple, making it the softest touch of her lips she'd ever given you.

"i'm so sorry."

"it's okay, mina." she rolled her eyes. it was so like you to say something to that effect right after telling her about the things you'd gone through.

"it's not and you know it."

"maybe so."

"you're beautiful. you will always be beautiful to me, little one. and i know many other people would agree with me." you adjusted yourself once again, careful not to cause her any pain - you just wanted to look at her face.

and of course, tease her a little bit about the many times she squeezed your hand a little tighter than before in public. it didn't happen often because she wasn't a big fan of pda, but occasionally she would make an exception if she found someone to be staring at you longer than she approved of.

"oh, you think so? is that why you refuse the brunette waitress every time we go eat at the restaurant down the street?"

"careful there, dear. don't tread on thin ice." you giggled at her response. and for a while the both of you sat in silence. she continued to play with your hair, only stopping when she noticed you were zoning out.

"this doesn't change what i think of you, i hope you know that. about the only thing that will change is the fact that i'll be watching out for you more often. you mean too much to me for me to just ignore this."

"m'kay mina." you mumbled quietly. a weight had been lifted from your shoulders - you finally told mina what needed to be said, and you weren't exactly sure how to feel about it yet.