iii . . . is it you and i ( march 30, 2150 — second dawn bunker )
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
WHAT WAS IT like to love someone so much it hurt? What was it like to not be selfish with someone you love for your own benefits? What was it like to love someone so much, that your life seemed insignificant when put next to theirs?
Bellamy felt that way about Cullen. Beside her, he was an infinitesimal speck of dirt orbiting around her in order to survive. It wasn't a lie, either; he truly didn't feel like surviving Praimfaya would be worth it if he wasn't with Cullen. Sure, he would have his friends and he would have Octavia, all people he had known for a relatively longer amount of time, but they weren't Cullen. They weren't what kept Bellamy's heart beating, and fed him the hope that they could survive anything if they were together.
It was always Bellamy's plan to put Cullen's survival before his own. He worked endlessly to show the people at Arkadia that Cullen was as much part of their people as he was, even if she wasn't born in space. When Clarke made her list, and Cullen wasn't on it, he began preparing what he would do when it came down to the day they were supposed to leave Earth — she was going to be in Alpha Station, not him. And when Skaikru took the bunker, trapping Cullen, Octavia, and Kane outside, Bellamy was willing to risk his life to ensure she was inside when Praimfaya hit Polis. He'd give up his spot of survival for her in a heartbeat, and he feared that Cullen didn't properly understand that.
His arms were crossed sternly against his chest, eyes surveying the room that was jammed shut with over four hundred sky people inside. Like they had expected, the Grounders acted against Skaikru's selfishness, and now they had to choose one hundred people to survive for their clan — himself and Cullen were already secured a bunk, thanks to Octavia, and it was one less thing Bellamy had to worry about. Only now, there was the matter of Raven.
"What are we gonna do?" Clarke asked from beside him.
He looked down to her, seeing she was watching their people fearfully. "We make a decision."
"How?" Her voice wavered as she returned his look of carefulness. "How do we choose?"
Bellamy didn't know. Choosing who lives and who dies was a part of his past he didn't want to revisit — he'd do it with the Grounders, but not their own people. Not after the culling that killed three hundred of them while still on the Ark.
When he didn't answer, Jaha stepped forward. "Do you see what we have to do? Do you see how this isn't fair?"
"None of this is fair. It's survival." Clarke answered when Bellamy couldn't.
They could only watch their people in distress for so long before the trio turned and entered into the main office, where Cullen, Abby, and Kane had been making contact with Raven. Abby and Kane talked quietly in the corner, while Cullen resided behind the table, the radio in her hand as she spoke freely with Raven. Brown met green instantly, and Bellamy had to know by now that he couldn't hide anything from Cullen — not the tiniest spark of joy, or the lowest form of sadness. They were two transparent book squished onto the shelf together.
