G͟u͟y͟s͟ I͟ p͟r͟o͟m͟i͟s͟e͟ t͟h͟e͟ b͟o͟y͟s͟ w͟i͟l͟l͟ c͟o͟m͟e͟ s͟o͟On;) i͟t͟s͟ b͟o͟r͟i͟n͟g͟ r͟n͟ j͟u͟s͟t͟ s͟t͟i͟c͟k͟ w͟i͟t͟h͟ m͟e͟ b͟A͟b͟e͟s͟ o͟n͟c͟e͟ I͟ g͟e͟t͟ 45 v͟i͟e͟w͟s͟ i͟l͟l͟ b͟e͟ d͟o͟i͟n͟g͟ 7 u͟p͟d͟a͟t͟e͟s͟ a͟ w͟e͟e͟k͟ a͟n͟d͟ i͟f͟ y͟o͟u͟r͟ g͟o͟o͟d͟ i͟l͟l͟ d͟o͟ 10. L͟u͟v͟ u͟ b͟y͟e͟. P͟s͟ I͟'m͟ d͟o͟i͟n͟g͟ t͟e͟x͟t͟ m͟e͟s͟s͟a͟g͟e͟s͟ d͟i͟f͟f͟e͟r͟e͟n͟t͟ f͟o͟r͟ e͟x͟a͟m͟p͟l͟e͟
•
9:58
T͟o͟ M͟a͟t͟t͟y (Matthew)
H͟i͟
•
B͟t͟w͟ I͟D͟k͟ i͟f͟ y͟o͟u͟ K͟n͟e͟w͟ b͟u͟t͟ B͟l͟a͟k͟l͟e͟y͟ c͟a͟m͟e͟ m͟i͟d͟ y͟e͟a͟r͟
I͟n͟ J͟a͟n͟u͟a͟r͟y͟.
As we pull up to my drive way I brace myself for the crap I might get from my family. Matthew offers to walk me up but I decline.
After the night I had the only disappointment was Matthew showing a little bit of signs making me wonder if he will be able to accept my past. I know he should. I wish he was a little more like the people in my past who didn't give a fuck. I wonder how there doing.
"How was your night" my mom asked.
"Decent actually" I reply while getting on the couch to turn on some tv.
Monday during volleyball Carly asked all about my weekend. I didn't tell her how Matthew wanted to fuck me but I did tell her about our cute date.
"You guys are life" she would say every 5 seconds it seemed.
Throughout the day Matthew winks at me occasionally. During 7th period he plays with my hair and try's to bug me. It's so cute.
When I get home I get a text from Matthew about our date.
•
4:30
To Blakley
I'll pick you up at 6:30 love you
•
4:31
To Matty
Where are we going?
•
4:33
To Blakley
Surprise, dress nice;)
•
I'm a little nervous for tonight, i slip on a tight black tight dress with sleeves. I grab some heals and finish getting ready. I go down stairs and he is inside on the couch playing with Allie. He looks so hot. He's dressed in a suit and tie.
"Ready babe?"
"Yeah" I blush at the fact he called me babe in front of my family.
He leads me outside to his truck and opens the door.
As we sit down for dinner I've already thought of a question I'm a little afraid to ask.
"Can I ask you something?" I state quietly.
"Yes?"
"Are you going to-uhm care about my past? Will it affect our relationship?"
"No babe why would you think that?"
"Because you brought it up the other day"
"I just I wanted to you know"
"If you always bring it up because your mad then it will be hard for me"
"It's just"
"What?"
The waiter came by and asked what we wanted to drink.
"Merlot red wine please"
I give him a questioning look.
"Dr.pepper"
The waiter walks off.
"How are you getting alcohol?" I ask.
"My dad own this place" I roll my eyes.
"So?" I glare at Matthew.
"I don't know."
"What is the problem is it trust?" He shrugs.
"You've gotta be kidding me. Then we can't do this Matthew. You did shit too! You weren't a good kid. At least I'm trying to change!"
"But" he stuttered.
"No but nothing."
We ordered and ate in silence. Matthew ended up drinking 4 glasses of wine.I mean sure I did bad shit. I drank and did whatever I wanted. I've moved on. I even knew that if I came around my old people I would have gone back to my old me. Now I've changed I could probably hold myself back but still.
As we get in the car Matthew still opens my door. He should be good to drive.
As he starts the car he breaks the silence.
"You can trust me" I mumble.
"Whatever I don't know that."
I'm shocked at his answer were in my neighborhood.
"Stop the car Matthew I'll walk."
"I'm Sorr-"
"I'm not joking Matthew"
He stops the car and locks it then he grabs my hand that was rested on the console.
"I didn't mean that"
"There's a lot of things you don't mean. But I can't change things if you don't think that I'll be loyal" I unlock the door walk 2 blocks he keeps following me in his truck. I know he won't leave me alone so I get in.
"Matthew I'm not going to be seeing you for a while" I say as he drives to my house.
"Oh" he sighs.
I step out of the car and he gets our to walk me up. He gives me a hug and nuzzles his face into my neck. He kisses me which will be the last time for a while.
"I love you Blakley."
I smile and look away. I've never said I love you to any guy besides one. We were having the best sex ever honestly. He had a daddy kink and made me call him that. After I laid on his chest. I told him I loved him and he said it back. But this was both of our first times. I felt bad for leaving that morning but he is also the only guy I've fucked more than once. I wasn't ready to say I love you to anyone but family. But he made me want to say it. It seemed true. I convinced myself it wasn't when I snuck out of his room.
I kinda miss my old group of people I hang out with. I hope me and Matthew will talk it over. That's the thing. My whole life my friends didn't care if I was bad. I needed someone to not care like the guy I said I love you to. He didn't care. I wish Matthew cared a little less.
