Dull

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Rose

I've been sitting in that uncomfortable blue plastic chair for a few hours now. Serenity had just arrived and she was speaking to Ares. I just kept observing everything trying to forget about that dull ache in my chest, but it wouldn't go away.

Leo was slowly pacing around the hallway. He seemed thoughtful. The driver guy, who now I knew was named Vincent, was still here too and he was sitting on a chair staring at the floor.

Everyone was just so quiet and depressed. I felt like I didn't belong here.

I should just leave. I don't deserve to be here.

"Hey" I heard a delicate voice. It was Serenity and she had a soft smile on her face. She sat next to me and gave me a reassuring look. "How are you?" She asked.

"I'm okay I guess" I said. What was I supposed to say? That I was dying inside? "How are you?" I asked giving her a weak smile.

"I'm okay, but I need you to know that I know how you feel. Ares and Nate have gone through a lot together and I'm sure they've been through this before. He'll make it" She said.

"I know" I replied weakly. I hated the sound of my voice right now. It was so weak.

I was weak.

I hugged myself and stared at the floor. I didn't belong here. I didn't belong anywhere.

All of a sudden, the door opened and we all looked up. It was a doctor and his face seemed pretty neutral. My heart was beating out of my chest and my hands started sweating.

"He's stable for now even though he hasn't woken up yet. You can see him but not all at once. It's better to go two at a time" He announced.

I let out a deep breath and held my chest. I'd never been so relieved in my whole life.

I looked up to see everyone looking at me. I immediately looked down and felt my face heat up. I didn't like all this attention.

"Do you want to go first?" Leo asked.

"N-no it's okay. I'll go last" I said.

"I think he'd want you to go first" Ares said.

"It's okay. You can go"

Dean went in alone first. He came out after a few minutes looking like he was barely holding back his tears. It must be so hard for him. His own twin brother is on the verge of dying.

Ares and Serenity were next. They came out after a few minutes and I saw Serenity comforting Ares.

And then there was Vincent with Leo. I was shocked to see Vincent and Leo coming out all swollen and crying.

"Man up, you crybaby" Leo said sniffling.

"Like you're t-the one to t-talk" Vincent said in between hiccups.

Ares chuckled and they threw him a glare while Serenity was trying to comfort her brother, Vincent. I would laugh but nothing seemed funny now. Everything seemed dull.

"Your turn now" Ares said.

I stood up feeling my legs like jelly. I've been sitting here for hours and it hurt to move now.

I walked in his room before closing the door.

There he was still sleeping. I inhaled sharply and walked closer. I took a seat next to him and stared at him. This was the first time I had ever looked at him so much. Cole used to hit me when I looked him in the eyes. He said it was annoying. That's why I refrained from looking people in the eyes.

He looked pale and his face was so emotionless. He was always laughing and smiling around me. He always had a joke to crack. He just was such a vibrant personality and now seeing him like this felt completely wrong.

"Hi" I said quietly. I didn't know if I should talk to him. Was there even a point in that? He wouldn't hear me, but I wanted to let it out. "I'm sorry for putting you through all this trouble"

It felt kind of weird talking to him like that. I hoped no one could hear me because that would be awkward.

"I understand if you hate me now. I hate me too, but I just need you to be okay. If you make it I promise I will leave if you want"

I wanted to leave now, but I threw that thought away because of two reasons. One; it wouldn't be nice to abandon him after all he did for me and two; I didn't have any money or any other place to go to.

And perhaps there was another reason too. Perhaps I didn't want to leave him. I wanted to stay with him, forever if I could.

I caressed his face gently, "Please be okay" I whispered feeling hot tears rolling down my face.

I didn't know what else to say. I wanted to say so much, but I thought telling him when he was awake was a better option.

"I have to go now, but I'll stay right outside" I said quietly and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

I looked at him once more and wiped my tears before leaving the room and closing the door.

I sat back in my seat and Serenity approached me.

"Me and Ares will have to go in a few minutes, do you want to come home with us?" She asked.

"No, thank you. I will stay here" I said giving her a smile.

"Okay, call me if you change your mind"She said with a smile and left.

Leo and Dean stayed while Vincent had to go for some reason.

We were all silent. It was pretty comfortable though, like we had some silent understanding.

"Did you learn anything about your dad" Leo asked Dean.

"No, I tried to reach him but he's nowhere to be found. Mom is in panic and doesn't know what to do. She said she wanted to come here but I assured her Nate was okay and she should stay at home and try to reach dad" He answered.

"Do you really think he's a traitor?" Leo asked.

"No. Our father is a loyal man. He must have had a reason to do this I am sure" Dean replied.

I hope he's right.

"Well at least we have Cole and his father so no more damage" Leo said.

"Yeah, for now" Dean mumbled.

They stayed quiet after that and I closed my eyes and tried to relax a little.





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