𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐞 ||𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧||

9

hmm, it could be him, but at this point, i am not too sure.

even if it is him, what is kenma doing in a woman's clothing store? what business could he have there? if he was with someone then maybe i could understand, but it does seem like he is shopping for himself. 

even if he is shopping for himself, why would he look at skirts and dresses, i understand looking at button-up shirts or maybe skinny jeans, but kenma is holding up a dress - admiring it.

it's been a few days since i was kicked out of his room. kenma's parents apologized to me a million times, they said they would talk to him, but i couldn't help and overthink things. it was something i said. the gay comment, perhaps? yes, that was hypocritical of me, but it just slipped out. kenma hasn't talked to me at all, not in school, not at home - he hasn't called or texted, he avoids me - i really dropped the ball on this one, huh.

i need to take action.

"kenma, hey," i say as i walk into the store. kenma freezes in his spot a quickly puts the dress away. he stares at me, almost like he is unsure what to say - things are awkward.

"what are you doing here, kuroo?", he asks, i can't just admit i followed him to this store, i am trying to figure out what is causing this weird behavior of his. i scratch my head and give him a small smile - i hope he doesn't question it further.

"oh, i was just passing by, saw you. what are you doing in this store?" kenma looks away, avoiding my gaze. i need to make the situation neutral, we need to talk this out, it's hurting me. it's hurting me so much.

i am a hypocrite.

even from the posts and everything that kenma likes on instagram i can see that he is definitely into guys, i shouldn't have joked about that, i should have embraced him and told him that i am with him, because... there is a guy i like. only one guy. maybe that's why i don't consider myself fully gay, but there is a guy i like and i would do anything for him, so seeing him so sad around me makes me feel hurt.

kenma, i like you. i want to shout it out, but my heart and my brain do not work in sync, my heart says one thing while my brain sticks to the morals i was taught by people around me. i want to scream that i care about him, but my brain is telling me to leave it alone - he is a guy, he can sort out his own problems.

i know it's wrong to think like that, but...

"i was just looking for some clothes..." kenma says quietly, i can barely hear his voice. "let's go out" he follows up and slips through me, heading towards the front door. the day is warm, even if it still quite some time till summer comes. i find myself marveling at how cute kenma looks.

"so, i was thinking..." i start, i seem to catch kenma's attention as he finally turns to me and faces me. the words i wanted to say just get stuck in my throat, i can feel my brain not cooperating with me once more. "i wanted to apologize for the gay comment"

"the gay comment?" kenma raises an eyebrow at me, stop pretending to not know what i am talking about - you are clearly hurt by it.

"yeah, i said that you might be into guys, and i just want you to know that i am supporting you! if you are gay, that is? you can tell me", damnit, everything i wanted to say comes out wrong, kenma once again frowns. not enough. my apology wasn't enough.

"is that the only thing you are apologizing for?"

what else do i apologize for?

"yes? i don't think i said anything else that i should say sorry for"

"what about the cross-dressing comment?"

"oh, that, it's funny. but, why would it matter? you're a dude just like me, we don't wear skirts and dresses..."

stop kuroo, stop right now, stop talking.

"... unless you really do dress as a woman. i saw you looking at those dresses, haha! but seriously kenma..."

kuroo just shut your mouth, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, you are hurting him. kenma is trembling again, just stop talking, why won't you stop?!

"... if you continue confusing me like this i might start thinking you are one of those guys who wear women's stuff. that would be so weird and awkward, but i've known you for years - you aren't into that, you're a guy, a normal one. you know, i was a bit hurt when--"

"you are hurt?!" kenma yells, i've done it again. "you know nothing, kuroo"

"kenma, you don't have to feel so agitated", i want to fix the situation, but i have a feeling that whatever i say or do will only make it worse.

"just leave, kuroo. just leave me alone. if you can't accept me for who i am then you are no friend of mine" and with these words i watch kenma walk away, he doesn't look back at me, he just walks away.

accept him for who he is?

there's no way.

no way.

it can't be.

no, i won't accept it.

that's not the kenma i like.

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Guys I have no energy seriously please help

Anyway Kuroo is a dumbass

Hope u enjoyed

Hatari.