Red Snow ~ Trixya

《9》

Katya wanted more. She thought that Trixie might want the same. But after tonight she wasn't so sure anymore.

_______________________________________

A week had passed.
Katya still hadn't spoken to Trixie about the events of the party.
Since she didn't remember any of them, it didn't really seem important. Trixie went back to being her usual sarcastic sweet self the day after the party of course. Two little Advil pills did the trick.
Katya on the other hand grew distant from Trixie. She thought nobody would notice, but Trixie did. She noticed the subtle winces when she touched her. She noticed the shorter answers and the uncomfortable silences. Trixie didn't want to pry, so she never said anything.
It baffled her though. How could a person's behaviour change so much overnight? She wanted the old Katya, the one with the insane sense of humour and the warmest hugs.

It was Sunday again, Katya was woken up to the sound of Trixie attempting to make breakfast.
Katya lazily dragged herself to the kitchen, yawning as she got there as if to announce her presence.
"Well aren't you a ray of sunshine this fine morning?" Trixie said smugly as she cracked two eggs into a bowl.
"Good morning to you too." Katya said, turning the Kettle on.
Trixie chuckled as the Russian took two biscuits and shoved them into her mouth.
"When's our shift today?" She asked with her mouth full.
"First of all, swallow before you talk. Second, I thought it would be nice for us to take a break so I asked some of the other workers to take our shift." She said.
After a rather long moment of silence, katya hummed in response.
"Sounds nice. Did you have anything planned then?" She asked.
Trixie walked over to Katya and stood next to her, leaning on the counter.
"I was hoping we could go to the park and just... talk. Honestly Katya, ever since my birthday you've been acting strangely. I wanna know why so I can set things right." She said, placing her hand on Katya's arm softly.
Katya was taken aback from Trixie's sudden actions. She was so sure her behaviour was the same but apparently Trixie wasn't that easy to fool.
"Okay Кукла. I'll go shower then." She smiled, taking Trixie's hand in her own and placing a quick kiss on her knuckles.

After Katya's shower and Trixie taking over an hour to do her makeup, the two women arrived at the park. It was refreshing for them to have a day off. The weather was perfect for a walk; sunny yet chilly. Everything was so green, the days kept getting nicer as winter ended.
They walked in silence for a bit, just enjoying the fresh air and each others company.
Once they got to Trixie's favourite bench, they took a seat. It was right in front of the oldest and tallest tree in the whole park.
"Beautiful, isn't it? I used to try and climb it every time I came here as a child." Trixie said, looking at the tree.
"It is." Katya said.
The tree really was remarkable, very different from the ones that grow in Russia. The trunk was so thick katya thought it would take at least three people to put their arms around it.
"I remember coming here with my grandparents, they'd always laugh when I failed to climb the tree and then attempt to cheer me up with a cookie. God, I loved their cookies." Trixie said.
"They sound nice." Katya smiled.
"They were. It was nice to spend time with them because it felt like family, unlike living with my mom and stepfather." She said.
"You deserve to feel loved Trixie." Katya said.
Trixie nodded.
"Everyone does, I suppose." Trixie sighed.

"So why are we really here?" Katya asked as she stared at the tree, trying to imagine a tiny version of Trixie attempting to climb it.
Trixie hesitated, thinking about the best way to put her feelings into words.
"I.. I wanted to ask you why you've been so distant since my birthday. Did I do anything bad at the party? Honestly Katya I don't remember anything from that night but if I did anything to hurt you please tell me so I can apologize for it." Trixie pleaded, taking hold of Katya's hands.
Katya was internally screaming. This was karma, definitely karma. Why else would she be in this position right now?
She had two options.
One, she could lie to Trixie and then feel guilty about it.
Two, she could tell Trixie the truth and then feel both guilty and embarrassed about it.
Great.
Katya took a deep breath, knowing she might regret what she's about to say.

'It's now or never' she thought.

"Something did happen at the party." She started, looking away from Trixie's honey brown eyes.
"I wanted to tell you sooner but since you didn't remember, I didn't want it to burden you. At the party, I saw you making out with some guy and it was... intense, to say the least. I know there's nothing between us but I couldn't help but get jealous and hurt. I like you Trixie. I like you more than I'd like to admit and it terrifies me. You asked why I've been so distant lately. Well, it's because hiding my feelings from you gets harder every single day." Katya said. She felt the hot, salty tears escape her eyes.
Trixie was speechless. She had no idea Katya was hurting so much. After all she's been through, still thinking about everybody else's feelings.
Without a word, Trixie wrapped her arms around Katya, letting her sob into her neck.
After a few more minutes Katya calmed down and was the first to pull away.
"Please say something." She pleaded, though it sounded more like a question.
"I-" Trixie wanted to talk. To tell Katya it was okay and that she wants to be friends again. But now Trixie knew for sure that Katya wants to be more than just friends. Did she want that too? She didn't know. She needed time. Her last relationship ended horribly, it may have been a long time ago but she didn't want to go through that again, especially not with Katya. She didn't want to risk losing Katya.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Katya." She said, wiping her Russian friend's tears away.
"I never wanted to hurt you, your friendship means so much to me.
Thank you for telling me how you feel and I wish I could tell you I feel the same way but I... I don't know. I need to think. I mean, obviously I find you very attractive but do we really wanna put our friendship at risk? Good friends are hard to come by." Trixie said.
Katya hummed, taking in Trixie's words.

"How 'bout a deal?" Katya asked after a long moment of intense silence.
"A deal?" Trixie was quite confused.

"Precisely."

"...What kind of deal?"

"We forget about our friendship for one kiss. One night. Whatever you prefer. If you like it, you'll let me take you out on a real date. If not, we'll forget it ever happened and go back to normal. How does that sound?"
Katya asked, Trixie slightly shivered by how seductive she sounded.
Without thinking much, subconsciously staring at Katya's blood red lips, Trixie nodded before her brain could process.

"Deal."