Emotionless (Tododeku)

💚Cuts💚

~Deku POV~

I was standing on the roof of the dorm looking out at the sky. I pushed off my shoes and walked to the ledge. Half of me was hoping someone would save me. No one did. No one will.
I fell.

I woke up in a sweat. It was a dream, of corse it was a dream. I'm to much of a wimp to do anything like that. The thoughts started flooding in. It's all your fault. You should have been there.  You can't save anyone. You should go die. DIE! JUST DIE ALREADY!

I turned on the all night lamp by my nightstand and grabbed my box cutter. I pulled up my sleeve, pressed the blade in, and slowly moved it across my  arm. The thoughts didn't fade. Your such a faggot. Your so fat. Gross. Disgusting. It's all your fault. You should be dead. What's wrong with you. I cut again. They faded. And again, and again. I snapped back into reality and realized I had just made about 12 or so cuts on my arm. I looked at the blood. It felt good. I was getting what I deserved. I deserved this. I should have been there when the villains killed mom. It's all your fault. Your disgusting. I pressed the blade in one more time and that seemed to do the trick. There was a lot of blood now so I wiped it up with a tissue and wrapped my arm with a bandage.

I awoke the next day and silently put on my uniform. I packed my bag and left the dorm for class. I don't bother with breakfast. Or any food. Your fat. Your so ugly. I tried my best to push the thoughts away.

"Hey Deku!" Said Uaraka behind me. I turned around "oh uh hey!" I said plastering on a fake smile. "You don't look so good, did you get enough sleep?" "Oh I guess my night was a bit restless haha" "oh no! Well do you want to walk to school with me?" (From the dorms) "ah sure!"

School was normal nothing really happend. I didn't pay attention much. I was leaving the classroom when I noticed todoroki-kun. God he's so cute. What! No! What's wrong with you don't think like that! Faggot! Your so gross! What's wrong with you! Go die already! I didn't fight this time. I went back to the dorm alone to grab my blade before leaving for the weekend. Not that I wanted to go live with that uncle of mine.

After mom died my uncle Inzio decided to take me in. As soon as I got there he made it clear I was only there because the government would give him money. He was horrible. He was always yelling crude things at me and "borrowed" my money. Of corse, he never gave it back. He usually sat on the couch and drank until he passed out. I didn't know anything about him other than that.

I unlocked the door and walked in. "Oi faggot!" Yelled Inzo from across the room. "I need money for beer!" Of corse he did, he always did. "I don't have any money how bout you get some your self!" I yelled being tiered of his crap. I walked past the couch and tried to avoid eye contact. He stood up "Come here now" he said in a low slow voice. I obeyed. Might as well get it over with. I stood in ground of him facing straight forward not daring to look up at his eyes. He hit me in the face and proceeded to punch me in the stomach. I bent over in pain but deep down I new I deserved it. "Don't you EVER talk back to me again!" I stood up straight, though my stomach was killing me. I walked away with my head down.

========================653 words! I hope you liked this first chapter! I'll try to update soon!

Please feel free to give constructive criticism!