The Damnation of Johnny Boy

the end:

John left her room. She moved for a bit and was about to wake up, he didn't want to disturb her and so he left the room to let her sleep comfortably. He went downstairs to check on her Mom. He put his ear on the door, and could hear that she was still crying. He tried knocking and asking her to open the door, but she wouldn't. He went and laid down the couch - just like that ill fated day where it had all begun. Him sleeping on that couch, watching TV.

He didn't switch on the TV now. He laid there for a long time, before finally crying himself to sleep.

He woke up to the gray light of the day - there was no sun. It was a cloudy day, he checked his phone to find that there was another storm warning for that day. Just like that day again....it felt like everything was repeating.

John helped her Mom upstairs to Mary's room. She was awake by now, but she felt too fatigued to get up from her bed. John was pleased to find...that she was still Mary.

The doctor arrived after a little while, he had brought the ambulance too, to take her to the hospital. John knew - she would never be seeing the house again. He felt helpless in front of whatever faith or life was doing to them. John wanted to scream at his Mom about where the heck god was at that moment, but he just didn't have the energy. He felt it was too pointless. He wanted everything to go away forever. Die with his sister...if he could. He knew, right after his dad's death, everything had gone only more and more wrong.

Everything was pointless.

they reached the hospital, mom got the call from john's school about why he wasn't there, john picked it up to let them know about all this, they said that they were sorry...he stayed by his sister's side all day, for the next couple of days. john prayed, irrespective of his disbelief, he prayed...he would do anything, give his own life, just to see his sister go to school, grow up and live a life again.

it was just another day, john spent the night at home and his mother stayed back at the hospital. someone had to look after the house. mary had started showing fear of water, she woudn't even drink water when she was awake. she started asking if she slept tonight would she meet dad, or who that dark man waiting for her was...that dark...man

john went up to his room. he had another nightmare, nightmares hardly had any effect anymore...he opened his eyes however to....

find something just at the edge of his bed.

his sister's head.

it faced his direction, he jumped off the bed in shock, no NO! he started shouting when her eyes opened, "It's you....you killed me", almost shouting. Then when John woke up again to the sound of the phone ringing below -

he thought he knew what it was, he walked downstairs for what felt like ages, tears started trickling down already, he was constantly making deals with god in his head, kill me, take my life right now, please let the call be the news that she'd recover, kill ME! KILL ME NOT HER!

he finally reached the phone, and...yes...it was what he had expected and knew all along...he fell down right there, lying down on the floor and crying....

it was all his fault! he had done it! he was guilty! he stood up, collecting himself and opened the door to get the car, when the door knocked on something hard, he looked down to see......

it was a gun.

he picked it up, closely to see, it was his dad's gun. he knew his dad's gun. it was that.

he knew, he realized the answer to everything.

However he did take out the car, drove it to the hospital. He had the gun in the car with him, he walked out of the car, walked to the hallway where his sister's room was. He looked from far away, from the glass window, his Mom breaking down...the doctor and nurses nearby, holding her. He looked at his mom and little Mary for the last time. Tears. At that moment, John was all but tears. He turned away, got into the car and drove home.

He picked himself to his bathroom upstairs, the gun in his pocket. He looked into the mirror in the darkness, it felt like even his reflection was scoffing at him. He sat down on the bathroom floor.

Checked the gun for the bullets it had. It had exactly one bullet.

click

He put it to his mouth. sorry mom, forgive me mary...

Between the time he pressed the trigger and till anything happened, felt like an eternity.

He could remember those happy days, those terrible days...the good for nothing life he lived. Oh John

He could see something in the darkness before him, outside the bathroom in his room, on his bed, sitting. It was dark, but he could see. Light had just started creeping outside, he heard something from the figure, it sounded like i am god, the phone started ringing downstairs

BANG

                                                                                       *

                                     Genesis 1:31 - God saw everything that he had made

                                                                     and indeed, it was very good.