Can You Hear the Stars Calling?

Safe

Both of them wrapped one arm around my back and leaned in hugging me. It felt a little awkward at first, but after a couple moments, I relaxed as well.

It was now dark outside. Wind howled outside the window and shook the trees, but it was warm in here.

It was finally warm.

***

The rest of the week passed as lazily as that day. Slowly, I regained my strength and began to move around whenever I felt like it. I could move my body in almost any way I wanted now.

When I was little and I had just turned six, I'd begged my mom to let me take gymnastic lessons promising to be 'the best daughter in the world' if she did. After a week of wearing her down, she finally let me take the lessons.

For the next six years I became as flexible as rubber, leaning how to stretch and contort my body in ways I never thought possible. Learning flips and jumps and a whole assortment of different moves.

But five years without practice left my body stiff. If I really let my mind wander I bet I could rely on muscle memory to lead me through a cartwheel or roll, but with the limited space and injury there wasn't much hope for that.

But I still stretched every day. Maybe-just maybe-if I could count on my body to do the moves, I could have a better chance of escaping the next time Mateo showed up.

If he shows up. I told myself, trying to give myself some semblance hope.

Sam had been able to go into the closest town to look for a disposable phone, leaving me in the very capable and very responsible hands of Milo.

It made me laugh at first when she said the word capable. But then I really started to think about it.

I had no doubt he could take care of himself. He did say he'd been around for a long time. I also no doubt that if trouble came, he could fight it off. Though he was exceptionally friendly, there was an underlying energy. I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

One of the days I walked into the living room and he was just sitting on a couch, staring at the ground. Staring at nothing. Deeply concentrating as if there was something there I couldn't see.

But just as fast as I had walked in, he noticed me and went on smiling, claiming he was lost in thought.

I knew it was more than just thought.

Later in the day, Sam returned carrying a few bags of groceries. Some of the bags had food and other were from various stores. They had new clothes for me. Finally, something to wear besides Milo's old pajama bottoms and t-shirts. From one of the bags, she pulled out a cheap flip phone.

We were all sitting at the island in the kitchen, staring at the phone. I'd tried to think of something to say to her the last few days, but I couldn't think of anything that would work. I had no idea how to tell her goodbye.

The best thing I could come up with was too painful. I didn't think I could go through with it.

But what other option did I have?

Slowly, I reached for the phone and fiddled with it in my hands. There's never going to be a good time. Just suck it up and push through.

I took a deep breath and punched in my mom's phone number. It rang three terrible times before her voice filled the space. "Hello?" She asked. She wasn't panicked or scared. I didn't know if I should have been relieved or not.

"Mom..." I started. Hearing her voice confirmed that I couldn't do it. How could I leave my mom so hurt? Tell her you had to run away. Tell her you couldn't stand being in that city any longer and left for somewhere far away. Tell her you love her. Tell her anything.

I searched for the right words to say, but came up empty. "Lynette?" She whispered. Her voice sounded so small.

"Yes, it's me," I assured. There was only agonizing silence on the other end. "Listen, mom...I-I can't come home for a while. I love you so much. This isn't about you, but..." I trailed off.

But what? I'm being chased by a demon that could kill you in the spot? I'm with an Angel and a half Angel being protected from the king of demons? What could I possible say that would explain the situation to her without making me sound crazy.

I paused. I expected shouting and crying and begging for me to come home. Instead, she started gently, "Lynn...my sweet girl. I love you. You are my entire world," she paused. "But you haven't been happy in years. Not really. You haven't been you.  I just don't know how I fit into your lens anymore. You're almost 18 now, and I can't keep you forever," She paused.

"I know things haven't been easy since-since he left," Taking a shaky breath, she cried into the phone, "and I know I could have been a better mother, but just know that I love you so, so much."

"No, mom! This isn't because of you. You're an amazing mom," My voice cracked. She couldn't blame herself. This wasn't her fault. "Please don't blame yourself."

Instead of answering me she only said, "I love you, sweetheart. I don't know what's going on in your head right now, but promise me that you'll be safe while you figure things out. Just don't forget that your mom's waiting for you, okay?"

"I promise. I love you, Mom." We both waited on the phone, not wanting to hang up. But after a few moments of silence the phone went dead. She hung up. Because I didn't have enough strength to let her go.

My heart stung setting down the phone and my hand shook slightly as I wiped away a few stray tears.

She thought I left her because she's a bad mom. She thought it was her fault. She thought I needed time away from her because she's too constricting. I choked on a sob, trying to keep it from bubbling over.

I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. She just... let me go. I wanted to cry and scream and kick and fight and yell. I wanted to claw tooth and nail. But at what? All of the rage I felt inside was directionless, seething out of me.

No. Not directionless. It was because of him. Xyphrus. It was because of him that I was taken from my life. Because of him that I'm in danger. I inhaled a long breath, channeling my anger. Keeping it at bay. 

For now. For now I would wait. I would save it all for him. Whenever it would be. Whenever I would meet him. If Mateo showed up and took me at this instant, I would be ready for him. 

A small voice in the back of my mind nagged at me. What could you do? It asked. I didn't have an answer because I wasn't sure yet. But I needed to do something. For my mom. For my life. For my world. For me.

"Lynette?" Sam asked rubbing my back. "Are you alright?"

I snapped back to reality. "I-I...don't know," I took another breath, trying to see a bright side in this crazy mess. "At least she's safe." I breathed.

Sam smiled at me. "I'm really proud of you."

I wasn't listening anymore. My mind was caught on that last word. Safe. It meant everything to me. Safe. I repeated to myself over and over again. Safe.