Can You Hear the Stars Calling?

Rush

Blood dripping down his arm, Dan yanked back the scissors and in the same movement, plunged them into my my side.

The stillness of that moment was like a painting. Something artists would mull over for countless hours talking about expression and symbolism. The shocked and horrified expression of Dan's face and that of his friend. What the scissors sticking out of my side mean as he still holds them so tightly that his knuckles turn white. The confused expression of my own face. The shock in myself as I try to catch up and figure out what just happened.

But then it all came crashing down. My screams before were pitiful compared to the wail that echoed off of the alley walls now. Blood spilled from the hole and slowly pooled below me.

That knocked everyone out of their trances. Dan staggered back and looked to his friend. "Come on, man!" The friend said, backing away, "Let's get out of here!" Dan scrambled up, looked at me in shock one last time, and bolted away.

What was I expecting? Why did I provoke them? Why did I think that I could do anything to help?

The unusual bitterness of the late April night bit into my skin and dig into the hole at my torso.

I looked up. The moon finally was out.

All at once, pain soared through me and screams escaped over and over again. Help. "He-help...help. Help! Someone..help me!" I knew I was shouting, but my voice sounded muffled. There was a sick feeling in my stomach and the pounding of blood rushing in my ears.

Oh god. Oh god. What happened? What just happened? Another scream rippled through me as an electric pain filled my stomach.

I looked down at the scissors sticking out of my torso and lost it. Whatever sense I had that was keeping me together was gone.

I couldn't tell you what happened in the time between them being there and me being alone. Alone with only the moon as my companion. Alone with only the moon to hear me cry. Alone for however long.

There weren't enough tears in the world to satisfy my cries.

Who knows how long I was out there, screaming and gasping. At some point, I remember hearing sirens off in the distance, but soon getting louder and louder. But I couldn't see anything. My vision was so blurry and my mind could focus. Everything was cold and all I wanted to do was go to sleep to escape the nausea roiling in my stomach.

In that time, there were flashes of clear memories. The ambulance arriving with their flashing lights so bright, I could see them through my eyelids. The feeling of being lifted up into the ambulance.

The ride to the hospital was fuzzy. I only remember how bright the lights above were and how sick I felt.

Arriving at the hospital was even more so a blur. People everywhere and so much rushing around here and there.

Suddenly, a bright light was shoved in my face. Not the kind that calls and beckons sweetly "Here, child. Come here and everything will be alright" The fake light. One that keeps you feeling trapped and locked in your own body. Struggling for any room to escape...escape. Escape! Everything was so tight. Too tight! Constricting.

"She's going into shock," a distant voice said.
"She's already lost a lot of blood"
"She needs another transfusion" another called.

Tired. Too...tired.
Just let me...sleep.

Nausea filled my stomach and throat.

An uncomfortable darkness took me.