Hurt

ANNEMARIE'S SECRET

The ride home to the lighthouse was painful. George felt like there was a big lump of darkness inside of him, just like a big hole that he couldn't possibly filled. His mind kept going back and forward around Annemarie and how much – despite of the rage – he loved her and he still does. Bette said she couldn't bear to part with George and that was exactly what George felt for Annemarie. He felt like half of him just been sliced away leaving him with bloody limb and wounded heart.

It was dawn when he disembarked from the train and continued on his journey home to the lighthouse. All the way, his mind was being haunted by Annemarie. He couldn't escaped. He tried to escape by busying himself in the farm, feeding the animals, having lunch in his favorite dinner but none of it could keep him from thinking about Annemarie.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore; he couldn't care anymore, he just couldn't bare it and he found himself, once again, standing in the platform number 3, waiting for the midnight train to take him back to Annemarie. Such an exhausting journey but worth every miles, for every miles he took bring him closer to Annemarie.

He arrived at the train station at dawn and right away, without wasting any time - he didn't care if it was barely morning, or the sun was barely rose up - he drove away to Annemarie's house. He knew the road to her home like the back of his hand even though he only drove her there once.

It was a small house. It was practically a cube with windows and one ragged door. There was not much to see from outside, no garden, no flower bed, and no exquisite decoration. A plain house. He knocked on the door and prepared to face Annemarie's husband, he didn't care anymore, he'd stole her away from her husband.

But it was Annemarie who opened the door. "George?" she looked surprised.

"I want an explanation!" he said.

"I could show you instead," tears rolled down to her cheek as she led George inside and into a dark bedroom. She turned on the light so they could see a man sleeping, face up on the bed. "He is Donald, my husband."

"What happened to him?"

"Stroke is what happened. He's been like that for three years." And Annemarie broke off crying.

Annemarie was a poor girl, her mother was a cook and her father was a graveyard undertaker. Ever since she was a little girl she always loved things that she couldn't have. It started with porcelain doll and then it escaladed to pink bike and finally it reached to designer goods, but still none of it ever belong to her. She knew it and she blamed her parents for having so little.

When she hit teenage years, she realized that she was very beautiful and boys were crazy about her. So, she started to prowl for rich boy but once again rich boy was something that she couldn't have, even good looks couldn't cut it in the jet setter world where class and social status matter much. She was miserable, everyday always complaining about her poor life but she was very determined not to drown in poverty for the rest of it. She vowed that she will get out of her poverty stricken life or die trying. When she reached 20 years of age, she met Donald Ramsay, an inspiring new musician. Donald came from adequate family, not exactly rich but not exactly poor also.

Donald was to signed with a famous music label to produce his debut album when he met Annemarie. They fell in love instantly at the first sight, it was autumn and by the time it was Christmas they already Mr. & Mrs. Ramsay. Annemarie had had a good time with Donald and for the first time in her life she could taste the luxurious life she had always dreamt of. She started to own designer goods, going to parties and most of all never have to worry about money.

However, the joy didn't last long. When Donald debut album hit the market it was a big disappointing. Annemarie was supportive to Donald and encouraged him to never gave up and to try again with his second album. A week before Donald's scheduled studio recording he caught a bad laryngitis. The doctor's advice was to operate and operate they did but then Donald's voice was never the same. He lost his music career and his contract with the label.

Little by little the Ramsay started to lose everything from their money to their house and finally the little luxury items that Annemarie owned, all gone! In her despair, Donald, Annemarie and their first born, Rebecca moved to Ipswich and they settled there. Donald became the church organist and Annemarie stayed home to care for little Rebecca.

Even in their poor state they were never have too little for they didn't need much. They have a small house to rest their head in and fairly decent food to eat daily. Annemarie was patience enough, she wasn't complaining or demanding anything to Donald, after all this was how her life had been before; poverty was her old friend. She cared for her husband, in fact she loved him, that was why she stayed with him even when the wealth had gone.

Their little family have lived in that small house for years. The house had seen the birth of Christopher and the family catastrophe when Rebecca confessed that she was pregnant and they had to marry her with James – a boy who worked in a stable – and Rebecca ended up working as a maid at the same master as James's.

Annemarie was very disappointed because she had high hope for her daughter but nevertheless it was all done with and done for the better. Another catastrophe happened three years ago when Donald fell as he was playing the organ in the church. Doctor said it was a stroke. Donald had been an invalid ever since.

Annemarie looked at George with tears in her eyes when her life story have finished being told.

"Can you blame me, George? Can you blame me for wanting to be loved? That man haven't been able to do anything for years! He couldn't even feed himself let alone to love me and I need love, George! I fell in love with you the minute I saw your face and I want you to love me too, but would you love me if I told you that I married an invalid? I wouldn't have a chance with you." She wiped her tears. "I love you so much, George. And if you ask me to leave right now, to leave him behind to die on his own right now, I will! I will go with you no matter what. I don't care what people would think of me or what they will say about me. I just need to be with you, George."

"Annemarie."

"I don't even care if you told Bette about us or not. It doesn't matter. What matters to me is you and I together."

"Annemarie, I'm so sorry," He held her in his arm. "I love you so much, darling. I do! And I don't care about anything else but you."

"Take me away, George," Annemarie looked at George. "Please take me away with you right now."

"I will, darling," and they both kissed on the promise.