"Different Directions "

chapter 18

 Throughout the next day, all she thought was him leaving like that and if it were a  sign that she shouldn't tell him. Shana sighed loudly. She picked up her phone to check for any messages. WhatsApp showed he hadn't been online since the time he had left the venue. She wanted to call but wasn't sure if it was the right time. She wrote a message to him. " I heard about mom, please call me when you can."
She heard the cat scratching the door. " Must be hungry" and got off the bed to give it some food. Around midnight she heard her phone ring. She sat up in bed and quickly picked up her phone. " Hello? Jin?" She asked without checking her phone. She waited for a few seconds and then he spoke: " Hey Shana." He whispered. His voice sounded tired and shaky. " Are you ok?" Shana felt her heart hurt hearing him. She was worried something bad had happened to his mum. " Is mum ok?." She asked hoping his mum was really ok. " She is in the ICU, Its just ..just.. " she heard him clear his throat " I will try calling you tomorrow, I don't think I can talk right now sorry." And with that, the line went dead. Shana felt helpless. She wanted to comfort him and be there for him even if its for him to just... talk. Her mind racing she did not know what she should do. She wanted to call him back but thought it wasn't the right thing to do. She laid back on her pillow and thought of her own mum. If something like this happened to her mum she wouldn't know what she would do. Just then she felt she needed to be near him, By his side. She picked up her phone to call Jin but decided to call Geo instead. She looked at the clock. It was past midnight. She decided to send Geo a text to call her soon as he sees her message to call her. Fifteen minutes later her phone rang. Shana grabbed it and told Geo she wanted to go visit Jin. She wanted to know Jin's details so she could check for flight details. Geo advised her to wait till morning and he would let her know. She slept restlessly. She tossed and turned and finally at nine am Geo called her and gave her the details. She packed her bags fast as she could. By eleven she was at the airport and at one pm she was on the plane. She thought about how she felt when Jin visited her at home when she was going through a hard time. She hoped he would be happy to see her.  As soon as she came out of the airport she got a taxi to head to the hospital Geo had given her information on. She took her bag and first headed to the hospital ladies' room. She changed from her jeans and hoody top to a white knee-length skirt and a pink cotton top. Combed her hair into a ponytail and gently powdered her face and applied lip gloss.  She put everything back in the bag and walked out of the ladies' room.  She took the elevator to the fifth floor and walked towards the nurse's station and inquired where room number  534 was. They told her to walk straight and take a left turn.  She did as she was told and as soon as turned she saw him standing outside the room door. He looked tired.

  He must have known she was coming. He looked up and saw her and greeted her with a tired smile. ' Geo" she told herself. He had cried. His eyes were slightly swollen. She took quick steps towards him and hugged him. He quietly wrapped his arms around her and buried his face on her shoulder. She heard him sigh and then followed by a deep breath before he stood up straight. " She will be having surgery later today." That's all he managed to say before his voice cracked. She took his hand and they both sat. She had always seen him smiling and energetic that it was heartbreaking to see him broken like this. She thought about her own mum and how heartbroken she would be. The nurse entered the room and Jin excused himself and followed the nurse. Shana took out her phone to check the time it was four- fifteen pm and her stomach growled. She just remembered after the snack on the plane she hadn't eaten anything. She looked towards the door to see if Jin would come out but there were no signs. She decided to wait another five minutes. A few seconds later the nurse came out and Jin followed her.  " They will take her at nine pm." Shana's stomach made a noise and this time even Jin heard it and turned to her with surprised eyes. He had a grin on his lips and then took her by the hand and walked with her to the elevator. " let's get something to eat." Shana stood just next to him feeling happy that this man right here knew her. She did not have to say a word and he knew exactly what she felt or wanted. He was holding her hand as they walked out to the canteen. After ordering the food they sat down and without a word both of them devoured their food. They both started laughing when they realized how fast they ate. Jin sipped Sprite while she drank her milkshake. She reached out for his hand and he held hers. "Thank you for coming, it means a lot." He said looking at her. He admitted to himself at that moment how much he was in love with the girl in front of him. He had girlfriends before but never connected emotionally, mentally and physically with anyone. This girl in front of him and caught his attention from the first time he saw her but Geo had got her first so he backed off. He had to break her heart to get her heart but now she lacked trust in him. He knew she liked him but was scared to be with him because of what he did. He looked at her and wondered if she was ever going to give him a chance to prove he actually loved her and needed her. Shana tapped him telling him his phone was ringing. It was Jin's brother calling. He immediately stood up and started walking while answering his phone.  He turned around to check where she was. Shana took quick steps to catch up to him.He took her hand and got into the elevator. She squeezed his hand tight and while standing near him she leaned on him and took a deep breath. She felt how secure she felt with him and how much she wanted to wrap her arms around him. She just felt right now was not the right time for her to be doing it. The doors opened and Jin let go of her hand and he walked ahead. She wasn't sure why he did that but she just followed him and when she turned he was already at the door talking to someone who looked a bit older to him. She walked slowly not sure if she should approach them or just stand there but the older male had noticed her and he was giving her the eye. Jin turned around and smiled at her. He told something and the male smiled at her too. She smiled back and bowed her head to him out of respect. Jin came over to her and explained to her " That's my big brother Seok Jung." She looked at him surprised. Inside she felt thrilled he was introducing her to his family. They walked up to his brother and Jin introduced her " Hyung this is Shana, Shana this is my elder brother." Jin's brother greeted her and then offered her a seat. She politely listened to him and sat until both brothers spoke to each other.  After a while, Jin came over and sat next to her. " My brother wants me to go home and get some rest before the operation. Have you booked a place to stay?" He asked. It had not dawned on her till then she had to find a place for the night. She closed her eyes with her hand and sighed. " I am sorry I totally forgot about that! If you could just recommend me a place, I will go there." Jin looked at her and tried not to laugh. He was just thankful that his brother was not with them. He took his phone out and called someone and a few minutes later they were out in the parking lot getting into his car. They spoke about Geo and April's wedding and then about his mother. ' Hyung and I will take turns staying with her, Dad won't be able to able to do this on his own. We are looking for help too. So It would be a while till I get back home." Shana sat in silence listening to him.  She played with the edge of her top feeling sad that they would have to be apart for some time. She regretted not telling him sooner how she felt and now with Mum being in hospital and him staying back to look after her, It would be really a bad time to tell anything.  She had not realized he had gotten out of the car and opened the door for her until the cold air hit her face. She got out and looked at the place she was going to stay at. It wasn't a hotel but an apartment complex. He had taken her bag and walked close to her. " Let's go inside" and she followed him. The elevator door opened on the third floor. He took out the keys from his pocket and opened the door. " Your place?" She asked curiously. " Yes, you can stay here, I have to go home anyway. I have to get some stuff so I will get some rest and see you tomorrow." " You don't want me to be there with you while the operation is going on?" He opened the windows in the hall and then came back to her. " I wish you could, but my brother, his wife, my father and mum's sister all will be there and the hospital will not allow too many"  she nodded trying not to show she was a little disappointed but she understood. She bit her lower lip. He showed her the room she could stay in and if she needed food which cupboard she could use or order from out. " I will come by around 9 or 10 will call you." and he was walking to the door when she ran after him and hugged him from behind. He smiled and relaxed into her arms. " I stink babe, I have been in the same clothes since yesterday." she hugged him tighter. " I don't care, I missed you." she buried her face into his pink hoodie. He turned around, hugged her tight and then kissed her forehead. She looked up to him and he saw she had tears in her eyes and she saw he had tears in his. He lowered his head to meet hers and she reached to him and kissed him gently on the lips. She felt his body tense up as she wrapped her hands around his neck and pull him closer. His kisses growing hungrier than the last as he leaned against the wall to bend his knees so he could meet her height. She moved between his legs to get closer to him when suddenly he stopped her. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath " I can't right now babe, sorry. I mean I want to, don't get me wrong but it's just not the right time sorry." She backed off a bit " Sorry, I understand." He pulled her in and hugged her. She felt embarrassed for not thinking before she acted. She hugged him back " Mum's operation will be successful don't you worry." He looked at her and then opened the door to leave. She closed the door and wanted to cover her face with her hands for being selfish. She dragged her feet to the room and fell asleep.