✔𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐳𝐞𝐧 𝐈𝐈𝐈: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈

Chapter 106: Diaries and Definitions

𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐘 #𝟏

I used to question what love really feels like. Mama told me, it usually feels warm, soft, swelling with an abnormal intensity; and people often describes it as addicting.

I usually disagree— I always did. Because I didn't know how wonderful it felt, at first. Because, who's the girl that could ever love me?

I'm vain.

I'm too cocky.

I'm colder than ice itself.

I push away people.

I'm weak to the faces of some people.

I'm just a depressed, lonely, distant beast who doesn't care for anyone but his mother for that matter.

But never had I expected for my weakness to be her.

I stood there like a fool when I first laid my eyes on her. I wasn't just captivated by her beauty, I wasn't just awestruck by the air of grace she carried wherever she went.

Then my heart tugged at my head as if to let it know who's really in charge. Each smile, each curl of those lips, I wanted more. I wanted to see more. I was desperate and thirsty for more. I felt so unworthy, so undeserving of her.

But I wouldn't trade it for anything, for anyone else. Let me call myself selfish, and heck, I'll never be guilty about it.

I've always wondered about, how did she changed my life with just one glance?

One smile?
One embrace?
One laugh?
One grin?

How? I had too many questions, but I was too distracted to ask any of them at all. I was too focused on preserving what we have; I wanted to engrave something in stone again even if I know or, I thought, it wasn't going to last.

I never gave myself any credit for any good I do. But that sweet yes, made me do lots of the impossible. I was a nervous mess, I've always been a mess my entire life. I fixed myself up just for her.

And she never made me regret doing that.

I loved breathing out her name. But anyone can tell how much I cherish her by just determining the manner of how I say the word ‘her.’

She was so lovely. She had little to no flaws, which I used to assume because it wasn't so obvious that she had any.

But once I got to know her better, and once we grew closer, I adored her even more since those very few flaws were caused by her own sacrifices for the better.

She was so brave. While I think her heroic deeds are for the history books, the bravest thing she has ever done was how willing she was to let me go since she knew it wouldn't end pretty once my father finds out about us.

From that day, a new question popped into my head.

Was she used to getting hurt?

And so she was. Then a burning feeling inside me told my heart that I didn't want her to get hurt again. I didn't want her to grow another mental scar.

I didn't want her to frown, to cry, to weep, because of anything or anyone.

She was so comforting and loving. I always despised myself of how weak I really am; my outer shell just looks so buff and strong but I was dying within it.

I could never forget each single moment of how she kissed my tears away like it was nothing.

I didn't want to let her go.

Proposing was such a risk because I always warned myself that it could either be too much, or I was taking all of it too fast.

But when she sobbed— when she told me that yes, she will definitely be my other half for the rest of our lives, the risk was never a risk at all.

Each day with her was almost like growing. Whenever she's near me, I bloom from something so ugly to something so beguiling and beautiful. I never knew this mouth of mine can say so many words that I have failed to say years ago.

I just wish there were other meaningful words than I love you's. She deserved more— so much more.

I didn't know that someone so angelic and beautiful can cause so much pain once I was about to lose everything.

She lay there like she could never stand again. She rasped out my name like she could never say it again. No amount of tears can define what I felt that night.

I was given two tiny little forms of miracles which we both created, and then her life was the price?

How cruel.

I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to go back to the start where everything was just like a meaningless void.

But they pushed me out of the way.

So I realized, I lost. I didn't just lose someone, I lost the game of life. I yelled, I screamed, I vowed so many things that I thankfully didn't get to fulfill.

Because she was strong enough to survive through the pain and anguish just to give birth to the future of our kingdom.

I owed her everything, even my life.

She made me a better man.

So when I saw her, Elsa, my beautiful minn elska, holding two little pounds of what perfection looks like, made me think of what a lucky idiot I was.

Recalling each moment with her makes me feel so warm. I really just want to write all of these down, I really do.

We both have come so far, from a harsh cold blizzard to a pretty and calm spring.

I'm afraid I have to cut this first since she's calling me for breakfast.

- 𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐘 -