Black-hearted | kth

Chapter Nine

Almost like he had gotten under my skin and wherever I went, I was carrying him with me. Feeling alone wasn't an option anymore, because I had the sensation he was everywhere.

I was very confused, wondering where that shift inside of me was coming from. I was feeling emotions I had never felt before and I was having thoughts I had never had before.

The memory of Taehyung and I playing the piano while he sat behind me would cause a heat wave to crash against my body like someone had literally lit me on fire.

At some point I realized that even though I had been actively avoiding him, I subconsciously wanted him to approach me. The sound of him laughing together with my mother was making my mouth fill with a bitter taste.

I had started occasionally stopping and staring at my reflection whenever I would pass by a mirror or a reflecting surface, studying my body and all the little things that made me me. I was going through some sort of awakening because I had never paid much attention to my appearance.

Like a butterfly, I was going through a metamorphosis.

For the first time in my life, I wanted to be looked at as a woman more than as a girl. I wanted to experience the bliss of human touch, I wanted to be desired and cared for. I longed for someone to look at me with wanting in their eyes, with yearning and adoration, just like Taehyung had.

His gaze had left a permanent mark on me, like a tattoo that was engraved in my brain. I'd always suspected there were parts of my character that were better left unexplored, but for some reason he was making me want to uncover all of myself to him.

One day I got home completely soaked because I had missed the bus on the way home and had to walk through the heaviest downpour I had seen. Irritated and grumpy, I caught a glimpse of something white hanging by the iron gate.

It was an umbrella someone had apparently left for me. I was dumbfounded and perplexed. Certainly a gesture like this would not have crossed my mother's mind even for a second and with Mrs. Flowers gone, the only one left who might have done that was Taehyung.

My frustration built up in my chest as I grabbed the umbrella with more force than I anticipated, but I still wouldn't open it. I wouldn't let myself be touched by his thoughtfulness, but that didn't mean I wouldn't at least return the umbrella to him.

Dusk was falling rapidly as I stomped up the hill leading to the mansion. I slammed the door behind myself and dashed for the staircase before anyone had heard me. With haste, I got straight to the bathroom and got the wet clothes off of myself, hurriedly jumping in the shower to wash the coldness off my skin.

After getting out of the shower, I blew out my hair because I hated when it was wet and put on some warm and clean clothes. I realized I was out of water bottles, so I figured I'd scurry downstairs and grab some from the fridge whilst trying to stay as invisible as possible.

The door of my bedroom closed shut with a muffled click and as I emerged from the hallway I could already hear smooth jazz coming from the living room. My mother and Taehyung were apparently having the times of their lives once again over a glass of vino. They had turned this house into a night club.

I scoffed, heading straight for the kitchen. While passing by the living room, I saw that the door was gaping wide open.

Movement in my peripheral caught my attention and despite fighting the urge, I swung to the side to see Taehyung drawing the thick burgundy curtains.

He tilted his head to the right as soon as he noticed me frozen in my spot. My mother was nowhere to be seen and I figured she was probably sitting on the vintage sofa further inside the room where I couldn't see her nor could she see me standing at the door.