"i have a soft spot.. but only for you"
a mattia x kairi fanfic.
Mattia is bipolar and confuses himself with his feelings for kairi. He says he doesnt love kairi.. but does he really mean it?
"Your" intended. Im not finna make sure i spell every yo...
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kairi's pov
I could barely sleep that night. I kept tossing and turning, and what happened worst of all was that it was raining hard, which soon became into a thunderstorm.
ever since I was little I've always been scared of thunderstorms because of the story of how Georg Wilhelm Richmann died.
I looked over to Alvaro who was almost half asleep. I didn't want to bother him because I had already made him stay the night away from his boyfriend.
I'd wish Mattia was here..holding me. but he hates me. it's just so weird how he told me he hates me the same day he loves me, but I mean its Mattia, I don't even know why I thought he really meant what he said. I'm so stupid for thinking he could actually have feelings for me. he's always hurting
I suddenly got the urge to cut myself again so I turned to see if Alvaro was sleeping and of course he was, so I slowly got out the bed and headed for the bathroom.
once I was in the bathroom I looked through my drawers and found nothing sharp enough. so I looked some more and found a pencil sharpener and looked for a screwdriver. I found one and set it on the counter. I looked for some vaseline and some cotton balls. I set them all on the counter and looked in the mirror. I sighed at the fact that it came back to this but I wasn't surprised. I unscrewed the screws that were in the pencil sharpener and took the razor part off and lined it up on my wrist. I then began cutting myself, for every mistake, there was a cut. it hurt at first but the more I cut myself the more I got used to it and felt numb. I was sad, angry, disappointed, ashamed, and every other feeling in between. I didn't know what to believe anymore, it felt like everything was a lie. how could he do this to me? after everything he's done to me, he still treats me like I'm a nobody.
I heard footsteps get up and I quickly turned the faucet on and ran my wrist under the water and cleaned the razor and put it in my drawer, my wrist was still bleeding so I took the cotton balls and dabbed them on my wrist and put the vaseline on my cuts.
"yo Kairi, you good in there?" Alvaro spoke
"yeah I'm just using the bathroom, "I told him
"you been in there for a minute, and I could of sworn I heard you crying" he told me from the other side of the door
"haha never man, I just had to take a shit and it wouldn't come out-"
"ayeee cmon man you ain't even have to tell me all that"
I laughed at his comment
"as long as your ok man. I'm going back to sleep" Alvaro told me while walking off
