False Starts || Dave Grohl

Chapter 54

"I have a stupid voice Ro-"

"If your voice is so stupid David, then why do so many people enjoy hearing it?" My head snaps up to look at him, "And don't try to say I'm wrong because I've seen you live."

---

April 25, 1996

New York, NY

My stomach clenches up again as I jolt forward, hiding my face in the nearby venue toilet as Amy rubs slow circles on my back. "Jesus Christ Rose what did you eat?"

Nothing.

I've eaten nothing Amy.

Can you not tell from the bile in the toilet?

"It's just a stomach bug..." I groan in response, wiping my mouth with the sleeve of my burgundy sweater.

It's actually the fact that you've forced me to go see my ex-boyfriend, who you don't know is my ex-boyfriend, play a show in New York City. Oh, and to top it off, you decided to invite my current boyfriend along without consulting me first, but you know what? It's fine.

Everything is fine.

"Fuck." I groan and drop my face back down to the porcelain throne.

The two of us have been in here for almost twenty minutes now, leaving Liam in the crowd without so much as a warning. The more and more the two discussed how 'great' Dave Grohl and the Foo Fighters are, the sicker I became until I finally darted off to vomit in a nearby trashcan.

After emptying my stomach of its contents and earning a few passersby glares, Amy pulled me off to the restrooms and I've been stuck here ever since. "What's wrong with you Rose? You know how excited I was to see them today!"

"I'm sorry that I got food poisoning Amy," I mutter and flush the toilet as I hear Dave shouting the lyrics to 'I'll Stick Around' in the distance. "Nothing is wrong. I just haven't felt good all morning."

She shoots a glare in my direction as I spin around to face her. "You've been against going to this show for weeks now. Do you know Dave or something? Fuck, you've had to of met him at least once since you're helping raise Frances, but what, do the two of you have bad blood?"

"Something like that..." My eyes nervously scan the walls, taking in the graffiti that had accumulated over the years. "I don't want to talk about it, okay? Go back and enjoy the rest of the set. I'll meet you and Liam at the car when it's over."

---

The older man smirks as me, obviously trying to fight his laughter as I finish telling my embarrassing story. "So, you haven't told your friends about me?"

"Really," I groan, "That's all you're getting from this?"

He pursues his lips before shrugging, "That and how the sound of my voice made you want to throw up."

"Okay, but I'm not everyone else David." Motioning between the two of us with my hand, "I was sick because I was scared, you'd see me at the show that day. I wasn't ready to face you."

His face softens from my honesty, "Are you ready to face me now?"

"I-"

"David," My mother's voice saves me from admitting to him that I wasn't, "If you'd like to stay and eat with us there's more than enough food. I just don't want it to get cold."

My eyes are at a downward angle, ashamed at myself for wanting to tell Dave that I never wanted to see him again when we've been getting along for the first time in years. I can see his hands grip the tops of his knees tightly before pushing himself up to standing, dragging my eyes up with him.

"Thank you so much for the offer, but I promised Lisa and my mom that I'd eat with them tonight. I should probably be on my way home anyways." My mother and I share a look over his shoulder as I get up and lead him to the door. "I'll see you around I guess."

My hand wraps around Dave's wrist, stopping him before he can step out of the house. "I didn't think I was ready to face you Dave. I really didn't, but it's a relief to know that you don't completely hate me."

"I could never hate you Rosemary."

-------

Present

As the five of us crowd around my small kitchen table to eat dinner, I can't help but feel that same sense of domestic living that I did that day. They aren't my kids, well other than Frances, and I'm not married to anyone here, but they are my family.

Casey takes a slow bite of her salad before breaking our calm silence, "I just want to know if I'm the only one here who's shocked you forgave Dave so easily? You're usually one to hold grudges Ro."

"It was a different time..." I shrug and take a bite of my own salad while Amy chuckles from her place in the seat next to me.

Leave it to my best friend to always give me a hard time.

"It's pretty obvious why she forgave him so easily Casey." Her comment is followed by a chorus of scoffs and Jack muttering 'whatever you say' before Amy continues, obviously letting her three glasses of wine get the better of her. "She just wanted to get boned by the drummer again."

Casey's jaw drops almost instantly while Jack snickers and Frances places a hand on top of my own. A last-ditch hope of calming me down that didn't help.

I swat the girls hand away and get to my feet, causing an ear-piercing screech to sound through the room as my chair scratches the tile flooring.

Fuck it, I'll just get new tile put down after all of this...

"I didn't forgive Dave for him." My voice is firm, and my eyes stay trained on my knuckles as they turn white from gripping the edge of the table so tightly. "I wasn't wanting to get boned or to say 'I'm dating a Rockstar', because that never mattered to me at the end of the day."

Frances gets to her feet, hesitating to grab my elbow as I shake my head at the group. "I forgave Dave for me. For my mental health. Because none of you saw me and what I was capable of those first couple of months after I left Seattle."

"Come on." Frances' presence instantly calms me as the two of us walk out of the apartment with our arms linked together. "You know they were just joking Rose."

At first, I don't respond, rather let my eyes take in the beautiful fall scene that is occurring around us. "I know, but sometimes they take the jokes too far. Especially Amy."

"Do you want me to ask them to stop?" Both of us are mimicking one another as we lean against the brick exterior wall, "I will."

As I stare into her blue eyes, I can't help but feel a pang of sadness at their familiar ocean blue.

I've grown to accept them as her own, no longer avoiding the worried glances that come from them when we're together. From time to time though, they still being me back to those hauntingly dim backstage hallways in 1992.

"It's not just that Bean..."

Over the years I've come to accept the words Kurt spoke to me that night in our hotel room. With everything that happened with Dave, I didn't want to believe that he was my soulmate. More importantly, I didn't want to believe that he would be what holds me back from truly starting my life.

"Talking about all of this is a constant reminder of how much I actually do miss Dave."