bittersweet shorts

Nyctophilia ▪︎ 2/2

Eight days later

It's been seven full days since I last slept in my bed. 178 hours that I either spent with Singrid or at school, mainly trying to get some sleep in. My body is exhausted, and I can't focus anymore.

Three days ago... Or maybe it was two? I'm not sure, actually.

It was just a few days ago when I fell asleep the second I got home. That's never happened - not since I developed insomnia. I sat on the couch, hoping to rest my shaking limbs that were so exhausted it took all of my effort just to lift them, and I promptly fell asleep - only to find Singrid a shaking, hopelessly lost mess the next day.

She thought I left her because she opened up to me about everyone else.

I promised her that I wasn't going to do that, and I needed to sleep, but she became jittery and anxious whenever I arrived late, or told her I needed to sleep. She's so scared. Paralyzed by the fear that her only friend, as she had informed me, would leave her.

And so I didn't.

I visited at the same time, every night. We talked until the early hours of the morning, then until I had to leave at 8:00.

It's the ninth day.

. . .

The teacher ends his lecture, and I'm snapped out of my sleep-trance by the bodies shuffling around me as students prepare to leave for the day. My eyes had been staring at the board, open but not seeing. I'm actually not sure which class this is...

My limbs move robotically as I force myself to stand. A gentle tap on my shoulder makes me shift my attention to the younger boy sitting behind me. A mop of curled brown hair sits atop his head, accompanied by soft brown eyes that hold concern deep inside. Jungkook - one of my few friends in the school.

"Are you... Okay?" he asks gently. I nod, grabbing my things and preparing to leave. "Do you want me to walk home with you? You don't look too good.." he presses, and I sigh.

"No, you live 15 extra minutes from my apartment.. I'll be fine, don't worry," I tell him, my words sounding slurred. He gives me a disbelieving look, frowning at me slightly.

"Okay," he says, and I sigh, starting to mumble a thank you before he cuts me off. "That settles it, I'm coming with you, you're not well."

"No, I-"

"No, I'm walking with you Yoongs," he cuts me off, a firm look in his eyes.

He really isn't backing down, is he?

"Alright, fine," I mumble, finally giving in as I start down the isle and walk out of the classroom. I stumble like a drunk after a long night - and my legs feel exhausted, as if I'm trudging through concrete that hasn't hardened yet.

For the last few days, a muted blur of noise has been ringing through my ears, like a background of hundreds of off-key ukuleles that all play at an ever increasing speed - and all out of sync. It's not horrible, but it's given me a headache.

I sense Jungkook walking close behind me - am I walking slower than usual? I'm not sure, but I don't think I can go much faster than this.

Instead of giving in to the nagging force in the back of my mind that begs me to give into the creeping darkness of my vision, I force my tired body to move a little quicker, involuntarily stumbling over the threshold of the building. A firm hand stops my tumble short, and I send a thankful look - or what I hope resembles a thankful look - to Jungkook. He gives me a worried one in return, but I ignore it and push on into the gentle outside breeze.