My Life Plan...Undone

Ch. 14

Matt rubbed the back of his neck like he wasn't entirely sure what to say next. "So, um, do you want to head back to the gym? I promised you another dance?"

It was hard to stay mad, because he was just so charming. And not the fake kind of charming, but the genuinely nice kind of charming. I believed every word he said and I knew he wouldn't lie or trick me. He wasn't that kind of person. But, I also knew that if I could feel these pangs of jealousy now when we weren't even a thing, it would only get worse if we became official. I had already gotten a taste of it when I overheard Sarah and Lily in the bathroom. People would always think he was with me out of pity or that I didn't belong with him. And girls like Colleen would always be after him. It was a lot to consider.

I looked around, "I'm not sure. I'm having a lot of fun here. And I wouldn't want to get in the way of your photography job for Colleen." I said this playfully, but I'm sure he could sense the bitterness in my tone.

"Oh okay. Well, I can stay here too and hang out....if you don't mind," he said timidly.

"You don't like karaoke so there's really nothing for you here."

I knew I sounded really bitchy right then, but I'm in self-preservation mode right now.

I could instantly tell that I had hurt him with my words and I felt really bad, but I kept a straight face.

"That's not true," he said softly.

I pretended to be engrossed in whoever was singing at the moment and acted like I was only half paying attention to him.

"What? You suddenly like singing in public?" I glance over at him and then back to the singer.

"No...I meant it's not true that there's nothing for me here....You're here."

My head whipped back and I looked at him. He was looking down at his feet with his hands in his pant pockets.

"You're just saying that because you think I'm upset."

He chuckled softly, "You know for someone as brilliant as you, you really are clueless."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jules, I like you. Don't you know that?" He put his hands gently on my arms.

"What about Colleen?" I ask, blushing.

"What about her?"

"She's always all over you. Like 'Oh, Matt, I can't survive without you. Help me open my locker." I say this in a high pitched, annoying voice and try not to laugh.

"She's harmless. I'm just friends with her. I just don't shoot her down, because I don't want to be mean to her."

"Well, does she know you only want to be friends? Because she is hanging on you all the time. And I've heard people talk about the two of you getting together." I cross my arms so that he has to move his hands from my arms, even though I secretly don't want him to let go.

"Those are just stupid rumors. I thought you didn't care about all that dumb high school stuff."

I normally didn't. I had never cared about any of this before, so why did it suddenly matter so much to me?

I shrugged my shoulders since I didn't have an answer.

"Sooooo, I told you that I like you. I think you like me too? I mean, we did almost kiss back there," he gives me that million dollar smile that makes me weak in the knees.

I shrug my shoulders again, not ready to admit to him that I liked him too. This is what I had been waiting for - knowing for sure that he liked me too before I said anything to him. Now the moment had come, but I was still scared. I'm also sort of in a mood now and I know I'm being a little immature and irrational with my cold attitude, but I can't help myself. Besides, I had already let Colleen and her friends get under my skin. Wouldn't it just get worse if they knew that Matt and I were together?