The Shadows Behind the Widow | Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Chapter 7

Days had passed and Y/N had not seen Natasha. She had lied to her and Y/N was suffering for it. She didn't want to stay cooped up in this room if it meant she didn't get to see Natasha.

She felt it was the right time. So when Steve's session came around, he walked into the room, ready for Y/N's jokes to start rolling in.

When he didn't get a remark in the first thirty seconds of their meeting, he knew something was off.

It was quiet, it had been something like that since Natasha had stopped visiting, but today was the worst it had been. Y/N just laid on her new bed, staring at the ceiling in thought, though her mind was blank, besides the only person that occupied it, Natasha Romanoff.

Steve started quietly as he spoke, "Hey, Shadow. You okay? You've been kind of off these past few days."

Y/N only stared, not moving her gaze from the ceiling as she thought of Natasha. She plainly spoke, "You can call me Y/N, Steve. I don't mind."

He went quiet for a moment before he asked, "How long as it been since you slept?" He took in the way her eyes were starting to redden from lack of sleep.

Y/N shrugged, "Four days, two hours, and five minutes."

"Probably because you're counting time instead of sheep." He said, a little chuckle following after. He didn't normally joke with Y/N. Actually, he never joked with her.

He expected that to cause some sort of reaction, but he got nothing but silence.

He slowly spoke again, "So...any progress with you joining the team? At least just a little?"

Y/N nodded, "I'll join." He raised his brow. "Really? This isn't a joke, is it?" He asked.

She simply spoke, "What is there to joke about? Nothing's funny."

Steve didn't know what to say. He hadn't seen her smile in the time she'd given him for her lack of sleep. It was strange, because she normally didn't go five minutes without a joke or two and she hadn't joked in four days.

Steve spoke quietly, "Listen, kid. I'm gonna leave you to sleep. You can't go this long without it, it's starting to affect you."

She shook her head and spoke, "It's not the lack of sleep. That's a side effect. I haven't seen Natasha in a few days, she said she'd come a see me. She said she wouldn't disappear and I haven't seen my friend in four days, two hours, fourteen minutes, and twenty-six seconds. Is friendship supposed to affect you like this?"

Steve stared at her for a moment and took a breath as he spoke, "Y/N, what you described...that's more than just friendship..."

"What's more than friends? Enemies?" Y/N asked, still not moving a muscle.

Steve shook his head, "Y/N...that's love."

"Love? Isn't that thing that happens and results in babies? If so, I had love a couple times before." She spoke.

Steve shook his head again, "Love is...it's when you find something that you can't quite explain. It happens so suddenly with no explanation of how it started or where it will go. It's when you feel for someone so much that they are the only person who could hurt you so badly."

He pointed to her, "Love is what made you like this."

"Oh," she spoke, "Then I don't like love very much."

Steve chuckled, "No, Y/N, love is a beautiful thing. It's just...sometimes you experience the hard parts first and the good parts come later."

Y/N's finger twitched and she asked, "Are you sure?"

Steve sighed, "I'm going to say a few names, and tell me one action that explains what you want to do with that person. Okay?"

Y/N let out a small breath and nodded slightly. Steve started out, "Thor."

"Punch him."

He chuckled and shook his head as he then said, "Tony Stark."

"Hang out with him."

"Bruce Banner."

"Anger, then fight him."

Steve face-palmed a little before continuing, "Clint Barton."

"Chill with him."

"Steve Rogers."

"Talk with him and listen for advice."

Steve smiled a little. It seemed being separated from Natasha so long had begun to alter your personality a little. The truth came out easier but you seemed emptier, less alive.

He said the last name, this time slower, "Natasha Romanoff."

"Hug her, hold her, laugh with her, kiss her, spend my life with her." She finally sat up, the first full movement she'd made all day. She propped herself up on her hands and looked at Steve. "Am I in love with Natasha Romanoff?" She asked.

Steve smiled, "I'm pretty sure. You should tell her, she'd be happy to have you around again."

Y/N gave him a confused look, "After what happened last time I saw her? She disappeared for four days, she doesn't love me anymore. I missed my chance."

"That's not how that works-"

"I have to get her to love me again."

"Y/N, that's-"

"I'm joining the team. Can I leave my room? I need to see her." She asked.

"To confess your feelings?"

"Hell no! To start getting her to love me back again! Thanks, Steve! You're the best!" Y/N swung open the door and yelled, "I'm joining the Avengers! Widow!" She ran through the halls, headed to her room before realizing she didn't know were it was.

"Jarvis, can you give me directions to Natasha's room?" She asked.

Jarvis responded, "Certainly. Down this hall."

Y/N followed the instructions, eager to get to Natasha. "Take a right. Then a left. It should be the third door on the left."

"Thanks."

"Of course."

Y/N came up on Natasha's room and began to knock before she heard the quiet sound of crying. It was almost unbearable to hear. She listened, knowing that the tears were caused by her. "I hurt her. I hurt the one I love." She whispered under her breath so no one could hear.

The pain that Y/N felt when she realized what she had caused. Y/N couldn't bear it, it was tearing at her heart and she felt weak all over.

She dragged herself back to her room, keeping her tears at bay until she reached it. She closed the door shut and broke down.

She couldn't keep the tears at bay as she tried to process all that had happened in the past ten minutes.

Everything hurt too much and Y/N couldn't live with it all. She had to get Natasha to stop hurting. She only knew of one way, even if it hurt. She had to give back to Natasha.

"I know what I have to do."