The Shadows Behind the Widow | Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Chapter 6

Y/N was almost surprised by how calm Natasha looked. But she saw something glisten in her eye, too small for normal people to see.

Y/N pleaded, her word escaping her mouth before she could control them, "Please don't cry."

Her expression didn't change, but the tear never fell. Instead, the tear slowly disappeared, no evidence of the tear's existence besides Natasha's slightly reddened cheeks.

She said with a small smile and a steady voice, "Why would I cry?"

"Because I've just revealed your feelings for me. Now you're scared I might reject you because you believe that if you have true feelings for someone, they are the only thing that could truly hurt you. And because you're my friend...I think. I mean, I've never actually had any friends." Y/N explained.

Natasha seemed hurt when she heard you say that she was your friend. She covered it up, looking at her hands and spoke, "I'll make you a deal."

Y/N furrowed her brow, "No."

"Hear me out."

"I don't want to make any deals."

"Y/N, just hear me out." She said. Y/N stopped. This was the first time Natasha had called her by her first name. Her heart felt strange, her stomach weird. She didn't know if she liked it or not.

"If you don't want me to visit you anymore, I won't. I'll assign Stark to you instead. You don't have to see me if you don't want to. If you want me to stay, I will. On one condition." She said.

Y/N's stomach twisted, as much as Natasha tried to hide it, Y/N knew that she was hurting. She didn't want Natasha to hurt.

"What is the condition?" Y/N asked, looking down at the gun that still sat at the side of her table and started disassembling it slowly and carefully, taking the time to feel each part to distract her from the feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Natasha answered, "You tell me why you chose your answer."

Y/N sighed and kept her eyes glued to the gun parts. "I want you to stay, because you're my friend. I don't want your visits to stop and I don't want Stark to replace you."

She didn't want to look back up. Y/N didn't like the feeling she got when she said that Natasha was her friend. The feeling of...inaccuracy. The feeling of being wrong.

She wasn't often wrong. Ever.

"Why not? By the description you gave me of yours and Stark's relationship, he's seems like your friend." She said, her eyes glued to her.

Y/N could feel Natasha's green eyes burn into her skull as she refused to look at her. She didn't want to see that hidden hurt.

"Yeah, but it's not the same with Tony. You're different." She explained, taking apart the last parts.

"Different how?" Natasha questioned.

Y/N lifted the two parts she'd just taken apart. "It's strange. It's like putting a gun together the wrong way."

She began to assemble the gun, putting the wrong pieces in the wrong places purposefully as she said, "I'm fairly certain, Tony doesn't really like me that much. He only talks to me so casually because that's how he is. It's like pieces that don't quite fit together."

Y/N showed Natasha the result of the gun that was put together the wrong way. She pulled the trigger and nothing happened, not even the clicking sound of an empty barrel.

"Then there's nothing there." She said.

She then took apart the gun and began to correctly assemble it. "With you...I know exactly where things go. It's not a fake piece or a wrong piece in the wrong place. It's all true, but there's uncertainty of the barrel. It's almost like Russian Roulette. You don't know what happens until it happens."

She put a single bullet in the barrel and randomized it. Y/N put the gun under her chin and cocked the gun.

"No!" Natasha exclaimed. She'd already pulled the trigger and, to Natasha's extraordinary relief, the only thing here was, was the click of an empty barrel.

"Sometime's you're safe." Y/N had said afterwards. She then pointed the gun to bed and cocked the gun, wondering if she had missed the barrel on a whim.

She shot the gun and the bullet came firing out, the substance in the bed popping out of it. Y/N jumped slightly, closing her eyes and taking a shaky breath as a tear slipped down her face.

"Sometime's you're not." Y/N concluded, opening her eyes and finally looking at Natasha, the tear dripping from her chin.

"No more gun privileges." Natasha said, her voice shaky as she snatched her gun out of her hand and gathered the rest of them, making sure none of them were missed.

Natasha began to leave, she had to get out of the room before she fell apart. She was one shot away for losing someone she had so stupidly fallen in love with.

An act that she said she wouldn't do to save herself from grief.

Y/N stopped Natasha, wiping away the tear. "Natasha, wait!"

The way Y/N had said her name made her stop in her tracks. She'd never said her name before and she wished she would do it more often.

She stood at the door, holding all of the guns in her hands, keeping her face straight.

"You'll come back right? You won't disappear?" She asked.

Natasha didn't turn around. She didn't want to lie, but Natasha couldn't take this. She couldn't come here everyday knowing Y/N thought of her as a friend.

She couldn't take it.

She nodded, still not turning to look at Y/N. "I would never." Y/N smiled and Natasha left, shutting the door behind her and locking it like she was supposed to.

Y/N's smile faded and little bit and she wiped away another tear. She laid on her, now in need of replacing, bed. She stared at the ceiling and slowly let her mind take over her as she drifted to sleep, visions of Natasha' beautiful green eyes and gorgeous smile in her head.