Undefined Love

Chapter 9: Untrue & Soon To Be

Ray'vn

Nine times. Nine times in three weeks that I've been sexually and physically abused. Six times by the man my mother's supposed to marry and my soon to be step-father. Not to mention, one of the most important boys in my life who once used to be the one I could call my lover, my homie, and bestfriend, but now, I'm just everyone's sex slave.
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I stand in line for lunch. The only thing running through my head is the terrifying moments from my night with Chris, but memories that Devon had left as well.

I didn't realize Ray was standing in front of me. He'd turned around not only for us to catch each other's intense gaze that showed so much heartache and pain, but to see a freshly stamped bruise from Chris' hand that hid under my makeup.

He had seen through it all. Thou, the only thing he could do was shake his head and walk away.

I felt like a disgrace. "Can I have the baked ziti please?" The lunch lady dropped a spoonful on my plate.

When I turn around I get a very lovely greeting by some juniors who decided it'd be fun to play football in the cafeteria.

My tray falls from my hands and I jump back so it wouldn't splatter on me. Couldn't my day get any better?

I walk back to my seat only to find my phone gone. I searched around the table. "Looking for this?" Who else would it be but one of Chris' friends. "Orlando, give me my phone." "Come get it." I'm really not in the fucking mood for this! I walk up to him, jumping to catch my phone. "Sure you not bouncin' too much," he asks laughing.

I finally caught it after standing on the chair. I jump down, going through my bookbag then feel Orlando's chest against my back and hands on my waist.

"Chris told me about y'all little party last night." "What are you talking about?" I ask knowing exactly what he was getting at.

"He said you were riding it good. When you gonna let me hit?" He presses his body against me.

This was so uncomfortable with people around watching in addition to still feeling pain from last night. His hand moved, going lower than they were supposed to.

"Orlando stop!" I pull away from him and knock into Kristy, the school's "baddest bitch."

Psh, my ass.

"Kristy I'm so sorry."

"Save your pity Ray'vn. I feel so sorry for you. No Dad, messed up life, and trying to be a big shot by freaking with with Chris? Sweetie, pray that you don't catch nothing."

She, her friends, and a couple other people in the cafeteria started laughing. I felt so disgusting. All I could do was run away. I ran through the hallway with tears burning my eyes. Then I saw Chris with a few of his other friends. Anger and sadness raged through me.

I pushed him against the lockers. "Are you happy!?" He tells his friends to leave.

"Why are you going around telling people I had sex with you?! You forced me!"

"Maybe if you'd give me what I wanted, I wouldn't have to force you." I groaned loudly and punched the locker. Tears flushed my face and I leaned against the locker looking at him.

"That's the thing Chris! It's always about you all the time; you don't care about what I want!"

He gently takes my hands placing them above my head. "Baby, I don't wanna hurt you, but sometimes you make things harder than they have to be. I'm sorry." "Yeah, I know that already." Everytime he says it, he never means it. "I love you." He stares, expecting me to say it back. What does he get? Nothing.

"You love me, right?"
Silence.

"You love me right," he asks now squeezing the hell out of my wrists. "Yes, I love you." I managed to say. He kisses me forcefully.

"Ahem. Mr. Davis, Ms. Miller, I'm sure you have somewhere to be," says Mr. Mitchell.

We pull away, Chris disappearing down the hall as I descend down the stairs.
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My Mom had texted me during last period saying to meet her at David's Bridal to help pick out her gown and buy my maid's dress.

The past few weeks I've been doing such a great job hiding my bruises from my Mom, but now I don't think I can. I sat at a table with my head down, my hair hiding my face and had my cardigan on while doing homework.

Mom walks out wearing the fourth dress that she'd liked, modeling off in the mirror. "How's this Ray'vn?"

"It looks nice Ma." "Ray'vn you didn't even look." I take a quick glance up at the dress. I have to say, this one was my favorite.

"Beautiful." I look back down when I saw her step down off the stool and said my name.

Shit.

She must have seen my face through the mirror.

" Ray'vn look at me." I kept my head down. "Little girl I'm not going to repeat myself. Look at me." The firm edge in her voice had me scared of what she'd say next.

I slowly raised my head. She gasps silently saying, 'Oh my god' with her mouth covered. "Ray'vn! Who did this to you?" "I got into a fight at school. No big deal."

"How did I not get a call about this?" "I'd told Mr. Mitchell not to stress it. Besides, it's not like you'd care anyway." I walked away from her, now staring out the window, my arms folded across my chest.

"Honey that's not true." I turn to her wide-eyed. "Really Mom?! You never cared. Ever since Dad left you don't care about anyone but yourself! Let's not mention when Devon came in the picture. It was all Devon, all the time. It's like I didn't matter to you anymore."

She tries to hug me and I push her hands away. "I never knew you felt that way." "How could you? You don't ever have time to waste on me."

She doesn't know what else to say, so she stays quiet.

That's what I thought.

"Mom if we're done here I'd like to go home now." She nods and the whole time we rode home in complete silence.

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So her Mom finally found out after how long? Smh. As for Chris? I don't know what the fuck to say about him...... Comments on what you guys think would be nice! ^.^ I'll probably post the next one tomorrow or over the weekend. Love you!!!