Undefined Love

Chapter 41: My Past and My Future.

Ray'vn

I stepped into the house feeling fine but I was still hurt. Jere walked me from Ray's house because Chris had left.

There was no sign of him when I walked in the house.

Surprised to see, Devon walked over and gave me a hug. "You okay?" "Mhm." He shook his head then looked at Jere then walked into the kitchen.

I looked around for a couple seconds to realize that there were no bullet holes in any of the walls. A quick glimpse into the kitchen, the window was fine. Everything was the same except men going in and out of the house bringing our stuff to the truck. I told myself I wasn't gonna cry about it. I shook my head to try and forget about it just as Mom came down the steps with a smile on her face.

She pulled me into a hug. She moved back. "Where were you?" "I slept at Ray's house for the night." "Aww. You were crying." "Oh, um, yeah. It's kind of sad that we're moving. I grew up in this house so it's kind of hard, you know," I lied, but not entirely.

It did hurt that I had to walk away from the house, the neighborhood that I spent my whole life living in by force and no choice.

But I wasn't about to tell Mom the real reason I was crying.

Devon stepped out of the kitchen.

"Eve, let's go over and talk to Ray's family. Let the kids get some time alone." Mom shook her head. She kissed my forehead, something she hadn't done in years, and left.

I walked around the house, running my hands along the stuff that was still left of the living room to take out.

I looked at the pictures on the walls.

My baby pictures. My childhood. My Dad, my real Dad. The Mom I used to love with every piece of me. The family that had grown and been broken; torn apart by life. My past.

I could feel the tears coming on even more but I forced them away. I stopped in front of the big picture frame on the wall of me and my Dad on my first birthday.

That was definitely a real smile I saw on my face.

I looked to the sky, whispering. "Why'd he have to go? Why couldn't he have stayed and work things out? Why'd he leave me God, why?" I couldn't stop myself anymore.

I just let go.

There no point in stopping myself anymore. There was nothing else I could do but cry.

Someone hugged me from behind.

Jeremy.

"Stop. It's hard, I know. But crying isn't gonna help solving it."

"There's nothing else I can do J. He's gone. I'm not gonna find happiness that this family gave me again."

He held me tighter.

"You have family right here Ray'vn." He turned me around. "Look at me." I looked up. He held both my hands. "I know you've heard this promise before but the one thing I never do is break promises. We may not have the same blood going through our veins and we may not have known each other long but there is one thing that I know..."

"I'm seventeen with a family I have to provide for on my own. I have a life I wanna live. I have people that depend on me and I know I have the strength and abilty to do that. But most of all, I have a new younger sister who's just as beat down at the heart than I am who I have to look after. Not by force but by choice. Regardless of if you feel like you have anyone there for you or not, I'm here and I promise you I always will be. I've made a number of promises to my Mom, Karla, and Zai. I failed them a few times but you know what? My promises were never broken because I'm still fighting to make sure I fulfill the promises that I made to them and I'm not losing with you."