Every Lifetime I Fall {COMPLETED but undergoing revisions}

Chapter 171: Fifth Life - Against Fate

Will I ever get to taste Yang Zi Huo's cooking again in this lifetime? Perhaps never...

"I'm not going to think about that." I say to myself, "Time to move on from these thoughts..."

The nearest village is actually a bustling small town with lively people. Walking along the paved street, I observe the businesses on either sides.

Qin Yu will probably want some meat with his dishes. I should find the butcher.

A strange figure passes in front. The sweet linger of aroma leaves reluctantly after him. His flowing white robes appear light and ghostly.

"Zi Huo?" The jolt in my heart encourages me to look for him in the crowd, but he's gone.

I try to calm myself, dispel the tightness within my chest.

That wasn't him. It couldn't be. He's still in seclusion. Besides, he wouldn't appear in front of me. We've already said farewell... to never meet again.

My breathing stabilizes and my legs are no longer frozen in place.

"I'm seeing things. What is wrong with me?"

I brush off what just happened as though my eyes were deceiving me. Finding what I needed, I left the town while dragging my feet. Maybe I was hoping to see a glimpse of that familiar shadow, just to satisfy my curiosity.

Qin Yu's condition improved over the past few days. He's still as mysterious as can be, even though I'd try to talk to him and break down his defenses.

Minding myself, admiring the sunshine with a cup of snow tea, Qin Yu suddenly asks me, "You say you knew my mother?"

"Yeah, a few lifetimes ago."

"What does that mean? You really lived multiple lifetimes before?"

I chuckle, "What? You don't believe in the afterlife?"

"I know the Realm of the Underworld exists. It's just that not many mortals adamantly believe they've been put through useless mortal trials one after another just to suffer pointlessly."

"That's because I've absorbed the Memory Preserver, genius. It was to protect all my past memories from being erased."

"And the reason is because of Yang Zi Huo?"

"Maybe."

"It's because of your past life with Yang Zi Huo that caused you to hate him so much," he concludes.

"It's complicated. Why are you so interested anyhow?"

"How can I not be? It's such a strange situation."

"You didn't seem to care that much before." Suspicious, I stare at him.

Sitting down next to me, his feet touches the ground while mine swings back and forth slightly with a bit of distance from the grass.

"If everything is a continuous cycle of meaningless trials then what does it matter the decisions I make?"

I attempt to read his face. Not sullen nor content.

"Maybe it doesn't matter," I tell him. "But if the decisions you make can allow the world to be a better place for the people you care about, wouldn't that make everything worthwhile?"

He doesn't say anything else, looking at the ground. A million thoughts are polluting his mind.

"Life is complicated. Everything you've done up to this point has been for a reason, they weren't meaningless to you in the moment, right? I'm not the wisest person in the world, so you can't listen to my words as if they mean anything, but just believe that I want you to be happy."

Qin Yu's expression is finally obvious. His big eyes illustrates confusion and shock. Soon a childish smile spreads on his face. A delicate laugh escapes his mouth.

"Wishful thinking. You really don't mean that... I've done things only a monster is capable of. Betrayed the trust of the one person who only wished for my happiness. It's too late for redemption."

I frown. "If you believe it's too late then there's nothing you can do, but if there's still a slight chance that you want to begin anew and be better, you definitely can. Who says you can only continue down a road you no longer wish to travel?"

Listening to me talk, Qin Yu smiles silently.

"And you know you have me. I'm your friend, aren't I? Although we don't see eye to eye sometimes, I want to be there for you."

"Because you feel sorry for me?"

I pause before saying, "Why would I feel sorry for the powerful and menacing previous leader of Wicked Mist? There's nothing about you that is pitiful."

"Huh. I guess you're right."

"This person who wished for nothing but your happiness, you betrayed them. Is that person me?"

"You?"

"Yeah? You lied to me all before when you attacked Bleak Night with the Immortal Sects, remember?"

"Ah? But I didn't betray you."

"You betrayed my friendship."

"I never betrayed you. I just chose to exclude certain things about my identity."

"Sure. If that's how you want to classify it. So? Who's this person? You... seem to feel guilty about this betrayal."

"Maybe one day I'll tell you the story."

Hope you are doing well, readers.
Writing has been quite a challenge for me these days. I struggle to write, but know you are waiting.

Fighting! 加油!