Where we are [JeongChan FF] ✔

17

Jeongin

Hyungjin and I return to the dorm to find the group passed out in the living room. All members are accounted for, much to my surprise because even Chan is asleep. Seeing him actually asleep is nice.

"Should we wake them?" Hyungjin asks me and after a moment of contemplation, I nod. 

"It wouldn't do them much good to sleep on the couch," I justify as I make my way over to the closest person. Placing a hand on his shoulder, I nudge Jisung gently until he wakes, eyes still narrowed as he looks at me with a pout. It takes him a moment; blinking until he's able to open his eyes, he looks around before they widen.

"We fell asleep," he states firmly. "We fell asleep. We were watching the cat in the hat and we fell asleep," he informs us despite neither of us asking. "How could we do that? How?" He gets up from the couch and then he's stretching. He looks at us and then at the group before his gaze falls back onto us. "Want some help waking them up?"

"Please, if you don't mind, hyung."

Jisung practically sits on top of Felix and Changbin who immediately awake to having their persons sit on. Felix, who had the least of Jisung's weight on him, shifts over and bumps into Seungmin who startles. In his shock-awakening, he knocks Minho who jolts as well. At the very end of the other side of the couch is Chan who is watching all of this, having awoken from their awakening being a light sleeper and everything. He tugs on Woojin who is on top of him until the elder opens his eyes. 

"Dominoes, human style," Jisung says with a grin. 

After nudging Jisung off, the others proceed to get up. All of them stretch and then we're left standing there. When I take a step back, all eyes are on me. I smile. "I'm gonna go and take a shower," I explain and head to the room to get my things. As I step outside, I see the group takin, but I don't go over to hear about what. I simply step into the bathroom and shut the door. 

When I'm out, clothing in the hamper and towel hung up, I step out into the silence of the dorm. They're no longer seated in the living room; in fact, it's mostly empty. 

"How did practice go?" Chan asks me as I walk by and into the kitchen. My eyes skim the cupboards as I consider what I could eat. And consider his question. It was hectic. It was rough. But when tomorrow came, I'd be able to keep up at least half way and that was what mattered. My improvement.

"It went okay," I reply. 

His footsteps echo through the silence as he makes his way over and he stops in the doorway. "That so?"

"That's so," I confirm. "I know at least half of it. So I won't disappoint you entirely again tomorrow."

"Disappoint? Jeongin, you don't really thing-"

"You were annoyed today," I interrupt. I hate the way my voice cracks and I hate the way he's shoulders have slumped and his hands have dropped and how he looks at me with so much guilt because he shouldn't be feeling guilty. It's his job as a leader to make sure we're all on par. Whether that included his annoyance or not was on him. "You got annoyed with me. Which means yeah, I did disappoint you. Whether you think so or not. The annoyance came from somewhere..." I look away. 

"Innie, I'm sorry. I didn't intend to get annoyed. I don't even know why I did."

"You're the leader. Our performance reflects on you." I shrug. "It makes sense that you got annoyed." With each sentence passed between us, he's moved. So now he's standing right next to me, hovering over me as I fumble with my fingers. I still didn't know what I wanted to eat. I didn't even know if I wanted to eat.

"Yeah but it doesn't justify my treatment toward you," he murmurs, "So I'm reallly sorry."

Looking up at him, my heart jumps inside my chest, practically hitting the rib cage. His face is centimeters away from mine; he's so close that I can feel his breath on my cheek. And I don't know why. Whether it's the tiredness or the fact that I'm just so sick of being treated like some kid. Or because I'm tired of keeping every single feeling in. And he's still apologising, even though I've zoned out. He's rambling on and on. My eyes flutter closed and I'm leaning forward.

And my lips brush against his. 

And for a moment, it's okay. It's all okay and it feels okay and I think it's okay. Until it's not. Until his hands are on my shoulders as he pulls me away from him and my eyes are open and his eyes are so wide and he looks so shocked, like he can't believe that I just did that. I don't blame him because neither can I.

What the hell did I just do?

"Jeongin-"

"I'm sorry-"

"You can't just-"

"Hyung, I'm sorry-"

"I don't-"

"Hyung-"

"And because I'm with Woojin."

With Woojin. Implying that they're together.

Oh.

"Jeongin-"

"I should go. I'm tired. Really tired. I should go," I say as I slip past him and even though he tries to stop me, Ii pull my arm free from his grip. "Have a good sleep hyung," I force out and practically dash to the room. Once the door is closed, I don't even make it to the bed.

I slide down the door and rest my head on my arms. 

Damnit.