Closer to You (Book One ✓)

S E V E N T E E N

"Let's take a break, yes?" Oliver pivots on his heel and Zara follows, leaving me alone on the set of the photo shoot. We're trying to get some beauty shots to start my portfolio and see how my face "connects with the camera." I let out a long sigh, the shoot is not going well at all. Every shot looks awkward and unnatural, my features unremarkable and expressions unmemorable. I think of Gemma and just know she would eat this up, never one to shy away from the camera.

The photographer, Joel, adjusts settings on his camera. He's young, probably a few years older than me, and sports a man bun and a trimmed beard. He catches me staring and smiles. "You okay?"

"I'm not very good at this," I admit, scrunching my face in distaste.

"You're striking, but you seem uncomfortable." He beckons me to sit beside him in front of the monitor that displays my shots as he takes them.

"I am." I agree, looking over his shoulder.

"You can tell in your photographs. Don't try to force it, can you remember the shot from the red carpet?" He asks, looking up from the screen.

I nod. "I didn't know anyone was taking it,"

Joel smiles, "And now, you're trying too hard to be a model, or what you think one should be. Just relax, be you."

I let out a sigh and run my hand over my sleek pony tail. "It's hard when Zara and Oliver have such high expectations. I've never done this before," Obviously, I add silently to myself, cringing at the photos on the monitor.

"Look here," Joel points to a photo on the screen. "See the tension in your brows?" He finds a new photo, "And here, the set of your jaw..." he continues going through my photos, showing me small details that affect the whole picture. "The good thing is, you can practice all that stuff."

"Practice?" I question, making mental notes on everything he tells me.

He nods, "In front of a mirror. Lots of models do when they start out, it helps with posing, too."

I smile appreciatively, noticing Zara and Oliver making their way back from the far corner of the room. "Let's continue, shall we?" Zara's face is reserved, like she doesn't expect much.

"Let's try a few more beauty shots, Joel, then we'd like Emma to try posing," Oliver instructs and Joel nods, offering me a supportive smile before instructing me to get back into position.

Keeping all of his notes at the forefront of my mind, I relax my brows and make sure my face isn't too tense. I recall the red carpet - I had been trying to emulate Beau's easy confidence in front of the crowd. Similarly, I tell myself that Zara and Oliver wanted me - they saw something there, I just need to stop trying so hard. I pretend the two lanky designers aren't standing to the side and critiquing my every move, that it's just me, Joel, and the camera between us.

The more I try to relax, the more my natural emotions bubble to the surface. I didn't think Beau's cold demeanor would ever hurt the way this does right now. But after last night... I guess I thought things would be different. Silly me.

"Ah, yes! Simply divine, Emma, divine!" Oliver shouts at me from behind the monitor. "Come look," his long fingers call me to him.

I peer over his shoulder the same way I had done with Joel. Zara makes an appreciate sound in the back of her throat, "These are much better. Excellent work," she pats my shoulder lightly. Focusing on the pictures, I see sadness in my eyes looking back at me.

"Just beautiful," Oliver confirms before rushing me behind a screen to get dressed into one of their design from last year. The suit is strangely too large on my thin frame, intentionally oversized and patterned with bold, bright pink and black designs.

Uncomfortable in the fashion-forward suit, I wonder how I'll manage to pose in it and these ridiculously high boots. Taking a moment before returning to the shoot, I remind myself to stay calm. Instead of trying to replicate the poses of models in magazines, I decide I'll just try to channel their grace and poise, like I did with Beau's confidence on the red carpet.

Taking a deep breath, I take my place in front of the camera, still unsure of exactly what to do. Luckily, Joel comes to my aid, making slight suggestions and adjustments - shifting an arm here, extending a leg there, lengthening my neck just so, tilting my head a couple degrees to one side. As the time passes, the movements become a bit more natural and I fall into a rhythm of posing and holding and then switching it up once the camera flashes a few times.

Mentally, everything else falls away, my mind focused on performing as best I can. After a couple of hours, Zara stops us, interrupting my concentration. "Truly marvelous, Emma. You're a natural." Zara smiles brightly, appraising me over the monitor screen. I try to not let the compliment go to my head, knowing she sees my face as nothing more than a dollar sign.

As Joel begins to pack his things, Oliver and Zara pull me aside. "So we need you here in LA for a few more days, we'll be bringing in some of the other models and we'll get those group shoots done. Then in about a month, we'll need you back for our show where we'll premiere the whole collection." At my silence, Oliver raises his brows in question. "Is there a problem?"

I shake my head, "Um no. I just need to go over my schedule," I shift uncomfortably in the large suit and mega heels, tired from the events of today.

The gray haired designers give me tight smiles. "You'll get used to the busy schedule in no time." Zara promises for me.

"Great, I really appreciate this opportunity." I smile politely and shake both of their hands, the green college quad I visited so frequently the only thing on my mind. Just hang in there, I remind myself, it'll all be worth it. A deep, tired sigh escapes my lips as I watch the two saunter away to their joint office.

Joel stops beside me, his camera bag over his shoulder. "You did good work today,"

"Thanks to you," I nudge him playfully. "Really, thanks for your help."

"No problem. Hey, if you ever want to get a drink sometime," he hands me a piece of paper. "Here's my number." Joel smiles, his dark eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Thanks again," I call as he waves and turns out the door. Smiling to myself, I stick the paper into my purse pocket and get changed into my regular clothes. I have a few missed calls from Beau but no messages. I collect my things and knock on the office door to let Zara and Oliver know I'm leaving.

I shoot Val a text as I leave, asking if she can help extend my reservation, or even book another - I don't need such a fancy suite. The entire ride back, I try to focus on memories of visiting Mom and Dad's alma mater growing up and how much closer I am to getting there for myself, instead of dwelling on the nasty mood I'm sure Beau will be in when I finally return.

I peer around the driver's large shoulders and notice that it's past dinner time. Shoot, I groan internally, deciding to try Beau's cell - who knows the trouble he could've gotten into, left to his own devices all day? The call goes to voicemail and I hang up, nerves swirling in my belly.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see.