Her (Shirbert Au)

4.

It has to be 3:30 in the morning. Maybe 4.
It's Friday night so I let my laziness take control over me. I've been laying on my bed since 10:15. Thinking.

She hasn't been in school in 4 days since the day with the poem. Had she really taken that much offense? Is she ok now? Will she come back? Maybe she's decided to leave Canada, go back to Scotland.

I think of her way too much.
I can't even pretend like I want to think of something else anymore.

I get up and open my English textbook.
On the last page I've written verses from that poem, randomly. I can't read them without hearing her voice reciting them. It's kind of driving me insane.

I don't even know what's going on with me lately. I can only go up to 2 seconds without thinking about her. 2 fucking seconds!

"Sweetheart, why are you up this late?" I hear my aunt whisper as she enters my room. She seems sleepy, I probably woke her up.

"Oh I, um. I can't sleep." I say scratching the crook of my neck.

"Did I wake you?" I add. She shakes her head.

"No, don't worry, I was going to drink some water." She says and I nod.

"Is there something you want to talk about? You seem a little out of it lately." She tells me. My mind instantly goes to her.

"N-no everything's fine. If something's bothering me you'll be the first one to know, I promise." I answer. She seems satisfied as she gives me a warm smile, which I reciprocate. She pats my shoulder and whispers 'Goodnight' as she leaves the room.

I let out a sigh. Why did I feel embarrassed to tell my aunt about her?
My brain plays some weird games I can't even explain..

•••

I wake up to the sound of birds chirping outside my window.
I try to move but I instantly fall to the ground. I groan. I fell asleep on my desk again. Great..

I get up and head to the bathroom.
After I'm all washed, I go downstairs.

When I reach the kitchen there's a toast on a plate waiting for me on the counter.

I grab it and take a bite.
My back is killing me, god.

After I'm all done, I go upstairs and study until late at night. At least I managed to keep her out of my head most of the time.
Except I didn't.

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Hmmm🧐🤪