Always Besides You.... (Editing)

7. Anguish

"Then.." Sanskar knew there was more which he needs to learn. He wanted her to open up herself. Seeing Ragini stiffening, Sanskar sighed and shook his head.

"I trust you, Dosth!" He smiled giving his assurance to Ragini to which she sighed in relief.

"And if she never backed out? What would have you done?" Swara asked Laksh, her demeanor the same.

"May be I would have agreed to be in this relation." Laksh said to Swara observing her reaction. "I have already hurt her a lot of times. Now again, I couldn't think of it Swara. I never want to lose you but this time I was fed up of myself."

"You would have sacrificed your love? Me?"

"No!" Laksh answered instantly and stared her blankly. His words are contrasting as if he is not sure about what he wants.

"Well, that would also be fair. Ragini is doing the same. Sacrificing her love!" Swara said eyeing the blankness upwards. "I talked to her this time. I said her not to lose anything for my sake. But she.. just knocked down my words. Why one or the other needs to lose something."

"How you went missing all of a sudden? And she agreed to marriage! I couldn't register everything because of my anger."

"It's all fate Laksh. We can't change it. Always remember that Ragini did everything keeping me ahead. I'm so lucky to have her besides me, Lucky!" Swara chuckled sadly at the last sentence with a layer of tears in her eyes. "But you! Saying that you disappointed would be an understatement. I'm happy that I went missing not anything that followed.I could see how much trust you have for me!" Swara spat, her agony spilling out as rage. "I feel selfish! I love her, I never wanted to snatch anything from her but everything..."

"Swara,it was all...." Laksh trailed off as tears pooled in his eyes. "The anger, the defeat, the pain coursed through at that point was something I couldn't handle. I just wanted to kill myself." His voice was pleading. 

Swara looked away as tears rolled down from her eyes.

"All resentment I felt at that moment came out as few words I spoke and actions I did. I know I did hurt you, I did hurt Ragini also but along with that I was also hurting. Ragini's decision came out as a shock but when she accused me of treating her like a rag doll, I was guilty. I said that I love you;and I knew she knows it. Something in me was breaking, accusing of everything and I crumbled in front of everything."

"What she said---

"Is true! I know." Laksh whispered defeated.  "I wish everything was normal. I--"

"Nothing will change, Laksh! We're not going to--"

"Swara, I love you! I can vouch with my life for that, trust me!"

"Trust is what we lack, Laksh." Swara gritted her teeth. "And one it's gone, you have to earn it! You lost my trust by not trusting on me and I do care that. Right now, I have no feelings towards you. All I feel is a failure which is far better than losing my self-respect."

"Swara.." Laksh tried to hold her hand, scared of losing her.

"All know Ragini and your decision. But Laksh Maheswari, you and are--"

Swara's words trailed off as Sharmishta and Ragini came looking for her. She turned around and wiped off her tears furiously, not wanting to let her mother and sister see them.

"Shall we go?" Sharmishta asked to which Swara nodded softly.

"Sorry Aunty, for everything." Laksh expressed his apology with folded hands to which Sharmishta reacted by a faint smile and turned down his hands.