In this book, there will be mentions of physical abuse and mental illnesses as well as smut. If you're not feeling well, please do not self-diagnose and look for professional help.
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"How do you feel today?"
The same question asked by the same old psychiatrist every day in the past 6 months. It has gotten to be boring and stressful. The feeling of being as if I'm suffocated and trapped in a cage. I do not remember when and how exactly I came to the mental asylum. However, the hope of escaping has worn me out and it is possible that I may just not be able to experience the normal life. Maybe, that is my faith or I'm destined to be a bird in a cage not being able to chirp in the mornings or any time of any day. The dark brown eyes of the psychiatrist pierced through my skin and waited for my response.
"I'm feeling good" responded as I look out the window to avoid the stare from the psychiatrist. There was a long silence between us and it was normal. I could hear him write down on his clipboard. I always wondered what he writes on the papers, could it be his observations about how I feel? How does he know how I feel? Is that possible to know how someone feels about something? After 3 minutes, he stood up from the chair and walks out the door.
I wonder why he even asks me how I feel if he just walks away after one question. Is this because he thinks I don't wanna talk maybe that's the case. It's not like I would wanna talk so it doesn't matter.
The room was bigger than the other average rooms of the asylums. With a bed that is not too uncomfortable and not too luxurious. There was only one window that was faced to a garden with plants with no thorns as patients are likely to harm themselves. The small garden was only for visited by five people including Y/N. Last month, a sweet lady who often visits the garden has passed away. Death is common as oxygen in the asylum whether it's from suicide or just died of old age.
It was time to go out to the garden. It was a routine although I always try to avoid it by doing something that I shouldn't do. However, it was too late to plan anything although I could bite the hand of the nurse when I do it, they always immediately inject me then I pass out. I walked out to the garden, it was warm with no wind probably the perfect weather I would say if anyone asked. I sat down on the bench. I was out there alone until I heard footsteps behind me. I turn back as I see the tall man looking at me. I ignore him assuming probably the replacement of the old lady who died next door. While I sat down underneath the warmth of the sun, he sat right next to me. The awkward silence began well at least I thought until he started talking to me. I never met someone in my life who was just so talkative, it almost gave me a headache. I could not respond back to him. He kept on talking about the plants of how beautiful they are, of course, I couldn't disagree with him more.
"By the way, What's your name?" he asked with a smile that is oddly not often seen in this asylum. "My name is Y/N" I responded. He waited for around 30 seconds realizing I won't ask his name so instead, he just introduced himself "Well, I'm Taehyung nice to meet you." I didn't wanna talk to him. Maybe, I was afraid and suspicious about what his intent was to talk to me. He understood that I wasn't much of a talker but still he wanted to talk to me.
"It is calming here very unusual from where I used to live in, everything was chaotic and just I don't know how to explain but I feel relaxed and empty." he chuckles as he looked down on the ground. Then continued, "People would describe empty as something bad but this emptiness makes me not think about anything concerning."
I looked up to meet his eyes. He had beautiful brown eyes probably the most beautiful one I have seen before. I responded, "For a while, it feels good but then after months it gets lonelier." His eyes widened as he didn't expect me to talk. He deeply looked into my eyes, I felt exposed to him as if he could see everything about me. Everything that I wanna hide about me and everything that is ugly about me. He asked, "Why are you sad?" I did not expect him to ask me that question. I could feel the curiosity of him wanting to know but I couldn't let him know anything about me because they're ugly. I responded, "I'm not sad, I'm feeling good. Anyway, it was a pleasure to talk to you." I stood up from the bench and walked to my room.
It was already night, time passed fast around here, at first it went slow but then I eventually took too many unnecessary naps during the day because it was boring. My mind started wandering about Taehyung even though I didn't intend to. I wanted to know what problems he had since, after all, we all had problems that's why we are here. He seemed way too normal to be in here if being happy is normal then he was happy, I wish if he could teach me how to be happy. No, he would probably freak out if I ask that since all of them left because of it.
I heard a knock on my window. I didn't know what time it was because I don't have a clock but it was awfully dark outside. I slowly turned my head to see what was outside my window. My heart was beating fast as I try to figure out whose face I was seeing since I couldn't tell because it was dark outside. I got up from my bed and walked closer to the window. I finally recognized the face who was Taehyung and I opened my window for him to enter which I realized too late that I probably shouldn't have. He entered my room and comfortably sat down on the ground.
"Why are you here?" I asked. I sat down in front of him on the ground. I could see his face clearly because of the light from the moon. I could not understand his facial expression but if I had to guess, he was serious. I questioned myself about why I let him into my room, he could be a threat to my life but I openly opened the door for him to murder me. It is likely since he is in a mental asylum, after all, maybe I'm fine with death because I knew it was something that we all experience. After a while, he responded, "I was bored." I felt that he was lying.
"Then, I don't know what I can help you to be not bored" responded
"We can talk... I really don't wanna be alone in the room" he responded while locking his eyes with me. It would be awkward to stare at someone's eyes for a long period of time but it felt normal.
"Fine, then talk to me" I waited for him to start talking. I hoped he would realize how the conversation will be one-sided, so he won't approach me again.
"Let's escape this asylum together"
Hello, I'm the author here. This is my first official fanfic in English so please be understanding since I'm not a native English speaker. I will try to update once everyday after all school been shut down. Stay safe everyone!! Also, there will be smut so... if you're not comfortable with that I will make sure to remind before it begins so you can skip it.
