[ Losing Your Memory by Ryan Star (TVD RESPRESENT). Decided to update because I got some free time anyway. ]
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SIXTEEN TEXT MESSAGES
LUKE: So it's been a weak since you've been admitted into hospital.
LUKE: I hope you're doing alright.
LUKE: Mike says you're not.
LUKE: I hope you're eating.
LUKE: Ash says you are.
LUKE: It's good that you're eating.
LUKE: Why didn't you tell me?
LUKE: You lied to me, Cal. You told me you were dating Katelyn.
LUKE: I know why you told me that.
LUKE: You wanted me to think that so that I could possibly move one.
LUKE: But you also lied so that no one would figure out that you were spiralling down into a dark hole, filled with demons and sadness and sorrow and thorns that were jabbing at your heart.
LUKE: At least that's how you apparently described it to the doctor.
LUKE: They said you weren't eating, Calum. You stopped eating and sleeping and you were so bad. They said you had bruises on your knuckles and cuts on your palms. When you get better you are telling me why they were there.
LUKE: Notice how I said 'when' instead of 'if'?
LUKE: Because you're going to get better, Calum.
LUKE: I know you're going to get better. You're stronger than this.
LUKE: Ashton and Michael told me everything, you know?
LUKE: Not just about how you stopped eating and sleeping and about the bruises and cuts and your hollow eyes. They told me about how even when you were in hospital you refused to eat there too, so they had to sedate you for a few hours so that they could stick a tube down your throat or in your stomach or whatever to provide you with food and water.
LUKE: How could you let yourself get to this?
LUKE: Over me?!
LUKE: You're going to get better. I hope you read all of these messages when you can and I hope you notice how angry and upset I am not only at you for letting yourself get like this but at myself for also letting you get like this.
LUKE: I'm angry at everything.
LUKE: And you know what the worst part is?
LUKE: You're probably going to have to deal with all the pain that you've dealt with for the past six months all over again.
LUKE: Because when you woke up from the sedation, the devil had taken your memory, and now you don't even remember me leaving for tour or our break up.
LUKE: So now I bet you're wondering where the fuck I am.
LUKE: Thanks a fucking lot devil. No wonder God kicked you out of heaven, you insensitive jackass.
LUKE: This won't win, Cal. I'm praying for you x
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Maaate,
I GOT MY LEARNER'S LICENSE GUYS! GOT ALL THE QUESTIONS RIGHT BABY.
Now I don't usually like to add things that are too religious in my stories, because even though I'm religious (yes, I'm a Christian gay-fanfic writer; sue me), I know not everyone is, but I do put some Christian stuff in subtly. And some people believe in God but aren't strictly religious, you know?
Also Ashton said on Twitter that he believed in God so it made me a little happy okay?
Also, the part about having to put the tube down Calum's throat or in his stomach is a real thing. When my youger brother was prematurely born his mouth wasn't big enough to be breast fed or to drink from a bottle, so they would have to do it through a tube.
To be honest I wasn't going to do this to Calum but then I thought fuck it and did it anyway. It hurts me to write it, don't worry. Not sure how much longer to go - probably about five chapters or so.
THANK YOU FOR GETTING IT TO #51 ON SHORT STORY. YOU LOT NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME HAPPY.
Love Leticia x
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Close As Strangers ▹ Cake
Fanfiction"I tried calling you. Are you going to pick up your phone?" "How am I supposed to get over you if I answer your calls, Luke?" // © Copyright Leticia Walsh 2014 // #37 in Short Story // 2nd Place - Bromance Awards (Summer 2015)
