Con Science, Not Conscience (ONC2020)

L

"Maya!" I shout as she takes off on a run down the hallway. In the distance, a door slams. But I keep on going until I reach a closed door- the only closed door in this corridor.

In her haste, she didn't lock it. Or perhaps she didn't want to lock it. I push the door and enter. My eyes grow wide as I see her scrunched in a corner, sobbing her heart out. Her sorrow has reached an all-time high, at about 80%. For Maya, a generally happy person, to feel this much, it has to be painful.

"Maya, I want you to know that you're amazing, and don't worry about anything right now. Nothing is worth you shedding tears over, but if you choose to, it's okay too. You're one of the kindest people I know with a golden heart, Maya, and nothing will change that, not your parents' identity or family issues. I believe you can get over this, okay?" I crouch down and spill everything on my mind without a filter.

The old me would have jumped at this chance, cruel though it is, to make more money by playing on her feelings. The present me, though, just feels a deep sadness and pity for Maya.

Maya looks up. Her eyes, which are a beautiful green without her purple contacts, are rimmed with tears and her face is puffy. "It isn't that. I always suspected I wasn't from the family- they were so adamant on never letting me take over their law firm and lots of other stuff..." she lets out a choked sob. "But Remi knew...all this while..."

I ease myself into the corner she is curled up in and put my arms around her, squeezing tight. "Remi's a damn jerk. Screw guys."

Maya laughs through her tears, wiping them away. "Angel, that damn jerk loves you, and I can see why he would."

"He never showed it. Anyway, this is about you. Are you feeling better?" I mumble.

She nods. "Are you going to ask me for money again?"

I sniff dramatically. "Oh, don't mention my poverty!"

We break into identical smiles and I see her sorrow dissipate slightly. It's a good sign and it encourages me to continue cheering her up. "I'm sure Remi and your parents love you, okay? Your birth doesn't define you."

Maya smiles wanly. "Yup."

I hug her again. "You're awesome."

"Yup," she says, but her voice is small.

"I think you need space to cool off. I'll leave you here for a while, okay?" I tell her in my gentlest voice.

Maya nods and manages a smile. "Love you, Angel," she whispers.

I blow her a kiss. "Love you always, Maya."

When I leave the room, shutting the door behind me, I see Remi pacing in the hallway, his head hanging low. His sorrow is just as high as his sister's, and this makes me unbelievably sad. Why can't the world be happy? Why is everyone so depressed? Having the ability to see sorrow is both a blessing an a curse. It is a double edged sword that ends up hurting me more than it should.

Because imagine this. Imagine yourself being in a room with dozens of people, and seeing that they're all sad. Imagine seeing that scene wherever you go in the world, your whole life. Surrounded by a sea of grey. The worst part is seeing your own sorrow when you look into a mirror, and all you see is the grey pulling you down and consuming you until you do not know who you are anymore.

Somehow these feelings I am having now comes out wrong and translates into anger. Anger which blazes out like a fire when you add too much fuel to it. "We need to talk." Without waiting for a reply, I grip his arm painfully and practically drag him to his room, overcome by blinding anger.