Con Science, Not Conscience (ONC2020)

E

The little girl runs up to me and hugs my legs, her arms curling around my body. "Angel!"

I allow myself to smile. She always brightens my day, because she is a little kid, and little kids never have much sorrow. Mostly. Anyway, her sorrow is always pale grey, an almost white colour, which means she's happy. It is so rare to see someone without a trace of sorrow, and seeing it on her is always pleasant.

She is four this year, and still small for her age. 

"Angel," she says, looking up at me with puppy eyes. "Can you please take me out today?"

I laugh. "For dinner? I'll ask the people, okay?"

Lyra nods. "You're going to bewitch them into saying yes," she whispers, tiptoeing. I bend down to hear her and my mouth curves into a smile.

"Okay. I'll work my magic powers," I wink.

Minutes later, my magic powers are not working. I sigh. "Please! I just want to take Lyra out. Don't you feel sorry for her? She-" I drop my voice. "She hasn't any parents. I just want to make her feel special and appreciated for once."

The receptionist person blinks. I know I've won her over when she fidgets and pulls out a yellow form. "Okay. Sign this. Bring her back by 8 pm latest."

"Thank you," I say sincerely. "Do you need any help with anything in return?I'll remember this and help you back."

Well, not really, but she doesn't have to know. To my relief, she shakes her head and tells me she'll think about it, but there's likely nothing she needs my help with.

I do my messy cursive signature that no one can replicate and grab Lyra's hand. "Let's go!" We both sing.

I laugh and look down at her. "What do you want?"

"McGriddle!"

"Really?" I ask in surprise. "Have you tried it?"

"Yea!" She grins up at me. "There's ma-pal syrup."

"Ma-pal... I meant maple syrup? Cool. Actually I haven't tried it. Let's eat that then. But we'll have to walk quite far to the McDonald's. Is that okay?"

She nods. "You are gonna carry me if I'm tired," she states and rubs her hands in glee. 

I roll my eyes. But at the same time I can't help feeling darn amused by Lyra. She really is the epitome of like mother, like daughter. No. I don't go down that path, I remind myself. But it's too late. I am suddenly looking at Lyra with hate instead of love.

"Let's just go," I say sharply and yank her hand.

Lyra falls silent behind me as I drag her along. Her feet scrape along the pavement and when I glance back she's hanging her head. "Do you hate me too?" She mumbles. Her sorrow shoots up, and the cloud darkens.

"I-" I can't think. My mind is a complete blank, like a black hole. Do I?

Tears gush down Lyra's chubby cheeks. She swipes at them with her small fists. "N...no one l...loves me," she whispers.

In the chilly night air, all is silent except for her voice, so I hear every bit of it. Remorse pushes itself out of the dark swirling hole I've shoved all my feelings into, and overwhelms my heart.

"No, Lyra I lov-"

A car honks. Suddenly I feel like I'm in the spotlight, and it's only growing brighter. Too late, I turn my head to the beam and white light blinds me.

The car is one metre away.

"Lyra!" A scream bursts from my mouth  and I pull her into my arms, stumbling backwards.