Always

thirty-two

K Y L E R
"If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy?
If our love is insanity why are you my clarity?"

"So you're telling me that you confessed to her and she didn't say anything back?" Sam scoffed, throwing her hands up in exasperation. I shrugged.

"I didn't expect her to say anything." I muttered, leaning back on the couch.

"Which one of you made the first actual move?" Aiden asked distractedly, his eyes glued to his phone screen.

"She did." I looked over to see Sam sporting a frown on her face. "I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this, Sam. We kissed and all, so doesn't that mean we already are a 'thing.'"

"No, not really. Unless you're like friends with benefits or something." She shrugged and I let out a frustrated groan.

"Why does it even matter?" I pinched the bridge of my nose and blew out a frustrated sigh.

"Of course it matters! You confessed to a girl and even freaking made out with her a billion times but you still haven't asked her out! That's complete dick behaviour." She stated, rather matter-of-factly. I looked over at Aiden pleadingly who was studying Sam and I with an amused expression.

"Just ask her out and be done with it." He shrugged, returning his attention back to the device in his hands. "I mean, it's pretty obvious that you both have feelings for each other so what's there to lose?"

I bit my bottom lip before sitting up straighter. I knew he was right. I knew I should have asked Luna out that night in the museum when she kissed but I couldn't. It was as if there was something holding me back.

And the more I thought about it, the more I realised that it was nothing but the fear of rejection. Luna did make the first move in the museum. She did kiss me first. And that really should prove the fact that she did indeed feel something for me. But still, I was being held back by that constant fear that no matter how hard I try, my feelings won't really be reciprocated.

I grabbed my phone from beside me and frowned when I saw no reply from Luna. I had texted her multiple times since the morning and even given her a call but it went straight to voicemail. My nerves began acting up as multiple horrible possibilities of why she wasn't picking up sprang into my head. My worry got the best of me and I got up from the couch, grabbing my jacket from beside me.

"It's getting late." I muttered and Sam nodded without looking away from the TV screen, mumbling a quick love you as I made my way out of her living room and headed out the front door.

As I walked into the elevator, I quickly pulled out my phone and dialled Luna's number one more time. I impatiently tapped my foot against the floor before letting out a grunt as I went straight to voicemail once again.

"Hey Luna, it's me. I-uh-you haven't been picking up any of my calls or responding to my texts and um I'm getting kinda worried so just-just call me when you get this, okay?" The elevator doors opened and I stepped out into the lobby. I stuffed my phone back in my pocket and quickly waved goodbye to the guy behind the front desk whose name I never learned before stepping out into the freezing New York streets.

As I walked along the sidewalk, I couldn't help but get immensely worried. It was quite unlike Luna to not pick up her calls or her texts, even when she was horribly busy. She always took out at least a minute to let me know that she was busy through a simple text but I had received absolutely nothing since morning and that did nothing to calm down my nerves.