Kiwi // H.S. // A.U.

Chapter Forty-Five

Suddenly, I felt hot. I slinked out of bed, careful not to wake Harry, and put on a pair of his sweats. I tiptoed down the stairs, staying as quiet as possible. I needed a moment to myself. If Harry woke up then he would immediately be trying to make me feel better. He was sweet like that, but right now I wanted to wallow in my self pity.

Starting the coffee maker, I reread the email, clicking on the link to their site to see if there was anything that could be done. I hadn't remembered receiving an expiration or renewal for my insurance through the mail or my email. I was in such a weird place, though, around that time. My mind was everywhere, still completely hooked on Jake. This was well before Harry and I had started to see each other.

I was so mad at myself. I should've taken this whole thing so much more serious. I should've listened to Millie when she told me he was harassing me. I should've been strong enough to see that on my own, but I was so blind. Blind by old love and self hatred.

When my coffee was poured, I drank it in silence, leaning against the counter, staring blankly at the wall wondering how the hell my life got so complicated. My body had this weird feeling rolling through it. Like an unpleasant buzzing. My chest felt weighted and my breathing was heavy.

I tried to shake it off, finishing off my coffee to keep me awake. I was debating on whether or not to stay down here, or lay back down with Harry when my phone buzzed on the granite countertop. I sighed, the word mom flashing on my screen.

Reluctantly, I answered, "Hey, mom."

"Happy New Year, honey."

I smile weakly, "Thanks, happy New Year."

"Is everything okay? I'm sorry I wasn't there when you had to leave, and you haven't been answering my calls." She says, and I can hear the slight hurt in her voice.

"I'm sorry. Something happened, and I couldn't get ahold of you. I needed to leave, and I've just been really busy since I got back." I didn't want to tell her what had happened. This was probably the first time I had hid something this big from her. We had always been honest with each other.

"Alright..." She says awkwardly. "Um, well, I wanted to talk to you about something."

I close my eyes, and hold back a sigh, "Okay."

"Emma, your father got in touch with me a few days ago." She says hesitantly.

I clenched my jaw, "He's not my father."

There was a long pause before she says, "I know that he wasn't there for you-"

"For us." I interrupt, "He wasn't there for us."

She sighs, "Emma, he's trying really hard to make up for the past."

"How?" I asked enraged, "It didn't seem like he gave a shit before he randomly ran into us at the grocery store. Mom, he's got his own family that he chose over us."

"You don't know what you're talking about." She says defiantly, "He lost his wife a few years ago."

"Oh, did he open up to you on your little dates you've been having behind my back?" I ask ruefully.

I know I was being cruel, but I couldn't help it. Everything was just too much, and this was icing on top of the cake. Her so willing to accept him in to our lives was pissing me off.

"Don't speak to me like that, Emma." She warns.

"Or what? Have you or have you not been seeing him since Christmas? You've been going out a lot more. Wearing more makeup and doing your hair. Just admit it."