I miss her

Viciously

I am afraid; hoping they don't see me hiding behind this moss tainted wall. I take a breath as I try to gather my thoughts, sliding down the wall letting its dirtiness stain my tattered pants, while my sneakers soak up the specks of promised tears from the sky. Leaning back, I try to conceal myself within the shadows as red and blue lights flash closer to where I am hiding. Its cries echo loudly through the night, bouncing off the walls of the alleyway where I am hidden, forcing my heart to adhere to its rhythm. 

I miss her. 

Her vicious red curls that bounced with every slight movement. She had eyes that froze time, intense and cool yet, reminded me what it felt like to be alive when she finally let her guard down and allowed me to see the warmth within them. 

I was enamored, when she finally allowed me to run a light touch over her, identifying every curve bump and mark she rarely displayed. Delicate yet feisty as moans fell from her smudged ruby lips. Her nails run down my back, creating harsh patterns of love, ownership. Our shared coitus satisfyingly ending with a whimper from her and a grunt from me as the scent of our shared love perfumed the air around us.

Peace.

As I grasped her hand tightly within mine and she silently smiled back,

Peace.

As I ran a hand through her hair,

Peace.

As she pulled me closer and I relaxed in her embrace. We knew it could never last. But in the dark as shadows ever so often danced across the walls and we indulged in the suffocating, stale air in her small room, we could believe the lie that everything was fine.

She moved with a groan insisting for me to leave. I missed the feeling of her arms wrapped around me but, I knew it wouldn't have lasted long. Getting up I gathered my belongings, ignored the pain I felt when she tells me to forget about her, when both of us knew I wouldn't. She always said those words when it was time for me to leave. Days would pass and somehow we were latched together again, in lust and in pain. Pain, because we knew that lust had gradually turned into something deeper, love. Both of us knew it had, yet were unwilling to confess.

How could we?

The doorknob started to shake as our hearts quickened in sync. I turned towards the clock and noticed that I have been there for far too long. Her face screamed fear as she turned to me and quietly motioned to hide. Before I do so, I watched as she tried to straighten her tousled curls and drudgingly wiped the sides of her mouth, as the bed sheet slips off of her body.

Confidently, she opened the door, naked.

He stood there smirking letting his eyes dance upon her skin, lowly questioning her on why the door was locked. She fed him some haphazard lie which he seemed to accept. He violated her as he entered and she grinned in response, voice becoming sultry as she cascaded her delicate arms around his shoulders. Lifting her body up he stopped her from clinging onto him as he tossed her onto the bed, the springs squeaked from the sudden weight and her curls once again looked tossed. He wasted no time crawling on top of her, readily tracing her rose, his eyes violently eating her whole. He plunged into her flower, crushing its delicate beauty, as she shrieked and arched under him, with every movement of his hand. With one more arch she released her sweet nectar and he collected it on his fingers. In disgust he wiped it on her face, demanding, "Where is he?"

He knows she is not one to love alone.

And in an ill burdened rage, he decided to wreck her garden, her solitude, as his hands latched ever so tightly around her neck.

The chokes and whimpers will forever haunt me, but in that moment I made a choice and stepped from the safe alcove which she hid me.

He stopped.

He loosened his grip around her neck and he stared at me, speechless. Turning back towards her he griped her shoulders, creating marks that will darken into bruises and shook her, screaming in anger, "My sister, you're fucking around with my sister!"

But everything had gone mute. I heard nothing, as I watched her try to push him off, as I watched him only latch onto her more, as his vulnerable back turned towards me.

I raised a shaking hand, holding the gun I knew she hid in her closet, finger on the trigger and I pulled back, finally getting rid of the obstacle to my love.

He fell with a loud thump, scarlet red stained the ground. She sat there motionless for a few seconds, before she realized what had happened.

She screamed, she flung herself onto his body, painting herself in his blood, dying her hair even darker, clutching onto him.

"You killed him!" she scorned me, her eyes cold and eyebrows furrowed.

I felt betrayed.

I want to feel nothing, but I felt pain.

I held the barrel up to her traitorous face and flinched as the sound echoed through the room. I watched as her lovely red color, mixed with his putrid soul.

I went to the kitchen in her hoodie, jeans and sneakers, to eat the now cold cookies she had made. I lifted my hand to my hair and daftly cut away. I left without locking the door and hid in an alleyway as the police came.