You're My Sol

Chapter 19

I looked at her sadly. "There's nothing wrong with liking another girl. That doesn't make you a bad person. Who are you hurting?"

She sighed. "It goes against God."

"Doesn't God want you to love everyone? Including gay people?" I retorted.

Marisol scrunched her nose. "Don't call me gay."

I frowned. "But..."

She sighed, leaning back against the wall. "I don't know what to do. Being away from you hurt. Like, physically. Every time I saw you, you wouldn't look at me. I realized... I really, really like you. I realized my feelings aren't something I can keep denying."

I paused, remembering something. "Marisol..." I said slowly. "You have a boyfriend."

She frowns, looking guiltily at the ground. "I don't really like him. I just didn't know what to do. I thought... maybe I could be normal." She sniffled.

"Marisol..." I trailed off.

She buried her head in her hands. "I know, I know. It's fucked up. I just... I'm so confused." Tears leaked out of her eyes. I stepped closer, brushing them away with my thumb.

"And when you do things like that, I get even more confused," she said, gesturing towards my fingertips.

I pulled away, stuffing my hands in my pockets. "Sorry," I said, looking away.

"I like it, though. I don't know why I like it," she said.

We stood there in silence.

"So what do we do?" I asked.

She paused.

"I should apologize. I was a bitch at the party. There's no excuse for that. It's just... I felt so confused and angry. When you confronted me it was like a truck hit me. This was serious, I kissed you. But... that's wrong. And I felt so ashamed of myself and so angry at what I had done and I just... took it out on you. I'm sorry. It was fucked up. I shouldn't have done that," Marisol burst out, the words escaping her like they had been building up for a while.

I blinked. "I... I know how you feel. I get why you did that but... it still hurt. You used what I had told you against me."

"I know," Marisol sighed. "Is there any way I can make it up to you?"

I gazed around the bathroom. A lot had happened in this bathroom, I realized. Only this time, the faucet wasn't leaking for once.

"I can't say things will be perfect, but I want to try. I forgive you," I said.

Marisol looked up at me like a dear in headlights. "Really?"

I nodded, a small smile creeping up my face.

She grinned, giving me that look that made me fall for her in the first place.

There was just one thing on my mind.

"Do you still want to be with me?" I asked, biting my lip. When I realized what I had just said, my heart leapt with anticipation.

It was silent in that bathroom. No faucet, no people walking in and out. Just me and Marisol and the space between us.

Marisol cracked a slight smile and nodded.

My eyes flew open. I didn't expect that.

I looked into her eyes, my heart pounding.

Then guilt churned in my stomach. I couldn't do this to Jake. As much as I disliked (hated) him, he didn't deserve this.

"Are you going to break up with him?" I whispered.

She nodded, looking down at the tiles on the floor. "I'll do it," she said solemnly.

Then I broke out into a grin. I was going to go out with Marisol.

We walked back to the robotics club, smiling the entire way. I sat down and got back to work, this time with Marisol.

We laughed and joked and worked on our code, and it was like we were back. We were normal again, only this time, Marisol liked me back.

Just as the club was wrapping up, Mr. Choman called out to us. "The end of the year is coming up soon, and you know what that means. The county robotics competition!"

Oh god, I had completely forgot about that. I turned to Marisol. "We need to get cracking, we have so many issues we need to work out," I said.

She nodded, grabbing her backpack. We talked about how we could make our robot run smoother while we walked out.

We hadn't walked home together in a long time, but there we were.

"I missed you," Marisol said eventually.

"I missed you, too," I replied.

I laced my fingers through hers, swinging them back and forth. She glanced down at our entertwined hands and smiled, looking back at me.

"So, what's been up the past few weeks?" I asked.

She frowned. "The group has been going crazy without you. They were kinda dying for me to forgive you. I really wanted to but I was scared you wouldn't want to talk to me."

I looked in her eyes. Wow, they were pretty. "I would always talk to you. I was just kinda pissed and really... sad."

She nodded. "I shouldn't have done that. I wanted so bad to run after you and take back everything I said."

"It just... it hurt to know that I trusted you and you used that against me."

She swallowed, nodding. "Can I work on gaining your trust again?"

I smiled at her. "I'd like that."

* * *

I opened the door, stepping inside. Ahead of me, in the kitchen, was what was becomming a familiar sight.

My parents at the table, sitting across from Andrew.

"--skipping class? Really? We knew things were getting bad but not this bad. And what with Penelope getting drunk while around you... you've been such a bad influence and I don't even know what we can do with you!" My mom screamed.

I took a deep breath. I walked into the room.

"Penelope, can you give us a moment? We're having a talk with your brother," my dad said.

I shook my head. "No."

My mom's eyes snapped to me. "No? What do you mean, 'no'?"

"I mean 'no'! I'm not gonna let you talk to my brother like that! He's trying his best. He stood up for me and made sure I got home safe. Getting drunk was my fault, not his. So if anything, I should have been grounded and not him," I said.

Andrew's eyes widened at my outburst, a small smile creeping up his lips.

"You don't even know the full extent of his problems--"

I cut my mom off. "So what? He's not hurting anyone! He just needs help in school, not yelling. Why can't you see that?" I said.

My dad furrowed his brow. "What makes you think you know anything about this?"

I sighed. "I just know that you shouldn't be so harsh on him. He's trying his best. Maybe if he got a tutor or something..." I trailed off.

My mom looked shocked. "A tutor..." she whispered. It was like she hadn't considered anything other than screaming at him. "We'll... we'll think about it," she said, looking to my dad. He nodded. "You kids can go, I'm gonna have to talk with your dad."

Andrew and I rushed up the stairs. His eyes were shining.

"Thank you," he said, softly.

I smiled sadly. "I should have stood up for you earlier. You didn't deserve that."

He shook his head. "Still, it's nice that you did that at all. Thanks."

With that, he was in his room and I was alone in the hall.